I bought the Oxi-Clean

Yesterday Calvin and I went out shopping. 

There was this mondo tub of Tide Oxi Clean for $8.99.  It was enough for 8 million loads.  Or 108.  Either way, it was a lot. 

So I decided to buy it.  When I got to a place that actually had cell reception I googled it and found it is selling for $25 at several stores. 

Holy Yoinks I got a deal, y'all!

I was so super excited. 

I got home and it had all of these things you could do with it.  See, it's not just for clothes it explains.  You can use it on soft surfaces, hard surfaces, and laundry. 

May I just say that trying to look at your house through the eyes of hard surfaces and soft surfaces is just weird to me.  It takes me some thought.

Anyway...

My house was going to be super clean.  This was the missing piece to our household.  People will rave about how spotless all surfaces hard and soft are.  I'll be in the newspaper...

So I took the mondo tub of Oxi up to the bathroom and decided I would clean the tub. 

That's a hard surface for those of you trying to keep up ;)

I made the solution as the package said and got to scrubbing.  That's when my eyes started watering and my head started pounding.  When I was done my nose holes (nostrils to the common man) felt like they were raw.

Now I haven't tried it in the laundry and maybe I was just too close to the mondo tubs solution that I whipped up but something in it didn't like me.  Or vice versa. 

I went out of the bathroom and back in.  It smelled so laundry fresh clean.  All I could think is that I was breathing in harmful phlebates or phosphates or whatever the heck those harmful chemicals are.  But it smelled nice and my shower was clean so I decided to breathe it in, dying contentedly.

And as I cleaned the sink I scrubbed along thinking how Oxi Clean kind of represents the rest of my life. 

Did I mention there were fumes?

What I mean is, I am always trying to find that elusive missing puzzle of my messed up life.  The one that will change everything.  That will make me stand out.  The one that will help me to finally not feel like such a screw up at this mothering and homemaking thing.  The one where I will finally get it right. 

But here is what I know and as I am getting older I know this to be true...

There's a perfect piece and God already nailed it on a cross so I don't have to get it right. 

It's already right.

And when I try to take life back and say, it's not perfect enough, let me try some more, well that's just sin talking. 

God lives in me.  I need to rely on Him and His Holy Spirit to fuel me, to empower me, to enable me, to remind me that this isn't about me.

It's not about how clean my house is or how well I can be a mom. 

I no longer need to look for a missing piece.  I am made whole and complete through asking Jesus into my heart all those years ago.

With all of my fume induced life thoughts coming at you please allow me to leave this verse with you:

“5 Those who live according to the flesh have their minds set on what the flesh desires; but those who live in accordance with the Spirit have their minds set on what the Spirit desires. 6 The mind governed by the flesh is death, but the mind governed by the Spirit is life and peace.”

— Romans 8:5-6

I pray that you will be filled with God's spirit today and that you set your mind on what God wants for your life: a life of peace.  And if you don't know God it is never too late to ask Him into your heart.  You can read all about how here.  He's the missing piece that has made my life whole! 

Now I just need to remember that and stop chasing lofty goals.

Now, back to the fumes... ;)

A Letter To My 10-Year Old Daughter

Dear Kazoo,

I cannot believe that you are ten. 

Ten. 

Wow. 

I know that parents say that so often that to be honest, when I see it on social media, I just kind of roll my eyes and blur over it all because we all keep saying it. 

Grandma Peg told me that my time with you would be over before I know it and she sure was right.  Like sand, I feel like I am watching time slip through my fingers faster than I can do anything about it.

In only 8 years you will be leaving the nest.  For bigger and brighter things.  To live out your hopes and dreams, to spread your wings and fly. 

8 years probably seems like a lifetime to you and a microwave warm up to me.  We've got all kinds of development between then and now to go through.  Things to love and things to hate.

With that in mind I thought I would send you this letter and let you know all of the many, many things going on in my head. 

-I first and foremost want to say thank you.  On behalf of your autistic brother and your Daddy and I, we thank you for being the kind of sibling and daughter that anyone would be proud to have.  You take on the role of sibling to a special-needs child with such grace and dignity.  I have no idea how we would have gotten through everything without you.  You always seem to know when to cut your brother some slack and when he needs to be reeled back in.  You always tolerate, always teach, always protect, and always, always love in ways that blow us away.  We know it stinks sometimes when your things get broken, your feelings get hurt, your turn isn't realized.  We want you to know that we are trying to be fair.  In reality, it isn't always going to be. But we love you even more for understanding that and being okay with it.  That's where we need God's grace and you get that too. 

-In the coming years we are going to have to expose you to some hard topics. You think weed means a dandelion. You have no idea what sex is.  You think "butt" is a cuss word. You think the signs "don't drink and drive" mean not to drink Pepsi while driving home from Taco Bell.  Your naivety is what we have craved for you to have in this world.  But Daddy and I figure it's probably best to expose you to these things eventually rather that drop you off at the doorstep of William and Mary to just let you figure it all out. So we're going to have to have some worldly talks.  Some exposure.  It makes me want to throw up thinking of explaining sex, drugs, and rock and roll to you, but we will. Because we love you and we want what's best for you.

-We want you to know that to the ends of the earth we will love you.  No matter what weird experimentation you go through.  No matter who you find out you are.  We will love you to the ends of the earth and back.  You will always be our favorite and our best.

-We know you want to be a vet but here's the thing.  Nothing in this world comes easily.  Nothing.  Please be prepared to work your tail off for what you want.  Don't let anyone get in your way or try to discourage you.  You will fall.  You will fail.  You will want to quit.  Don't.  Don't ever quit.  Pull that competitiveness out of you and use it to get what you want.  We promise it will all be worth it.

-Please don't try to grow up to quickly.  Stop it.  Knock it off.  It's all a lie.  All of it.  We know you want your own cell phone and you think it's cool to have an ipad and headphones and dance around.  But please don't put the American Girls away just yet. Don't forget how fun it is to spin in a pretty dress.  Don't let the world make you someone you aren't.  Remember, you can be as young as you feel, not as old as you are real.

-Above all please remember to just follow God's will.  Like I've always told you, my life is so much better than I ever could have imagined it to be.  All because I did what God wanted me to do.  I followed Him.  I promise, do what He wants;  Seek him.  Be in love with Him.  And life will beat your best dreams on a good night.  Cross my heart, kiss my elbow.

-Remember how you love our home?  How you call it a peaceful mansion?  How you say it's your favorite place in the world?  Well, it's not going anywhere.  It will always be here with open arms.  So you can drag your drunk, goth-clad self home from college if you need and we'll be here with a strong cup of coffee and open arms.  Because we are family.  And family sticks together.

I hope you have the best tenth birthday ever. I hope you dance and twirl and giggle and whirl.  We're going to party, as you always misquote and say, like it's 1799.  Sure, we'll get our petticoats swinging around.

We love you Kazoo!  Happy Birthday to you!

April Adventures

As I mentioned in this earlier post, we've had some rough times homeschooling lately. 

So we've been getting out and about town to shake things up.

I have a hard time with finding the right balance in terms of school work and going out and doing fun activities.  Does anyone struggle with this?

When I start to pay attention to all of the cool things going on in the area it seems like we are always on the go, go, go.  Forget math, we've got butter to churn.

On the other hand I often times get so bogged down with focus strategies and lesson plans that we are often cooped up in the classroom for so long that there isn't time for anything outside of it to go on. 

Well this month I've tried to strike a good balance.  I think I have!

We went to the University of Notre Dame during Robotics week to check out all of the cool things their students were doing.  They had a ton of interactive booths set up and the kids had a blast checking things out. Above is Calvin telling the robot to do the sprinkler.

This robot was ginormous!  I think it kind of scared Calvin at first!  But it was amazing to watch it in action and to see all of the things the students could have it do.

We also went to ag-days at the local fair grounds.  It's something we've done every year.  Sad to say I think the kids are getting a bit too old for it, but it was something fun to do anyway. The event works that the kids get a basket at the beginning.  They then make their way around to different stations to learn about crops and animals.  They put something from each station in their basket that relates to what they learned. At the end they turn their basket in and they earn a cookie and milk.  It's a good old fashioned family time.

In pictures I wonder if Calvin will ever stop making this murdery face.  I mean, what in the world is this silly face???

If you had witnessed this in action you would know that we are clearly city slickers.  We have no idea what we are doing.  But it was fun and the kids enjoyed trying to lasso a bucket with a sheep head on it :)

As you read here in this previous post we had a complete revitalization of our homeschooling last week.  Out with the old and in with the old or whatever I've been trying to say. 

So we pounded out a great week of school and so I decided it was high time we throw a little fun into the mix.  So Friday as a treat we went to the Kalamazoo Valley Museum in Kalamazoo, Michigan.  It is one of our favorite museums.  And it's free so it has that going for it.

Above is a picture of Calvin racing a car he built. They have a really fun motion area.  We've been studying force in Science so this was a great area for us to spend some time and reading about what we were doing.

Emma loved working on refracting light.  And isn't she a fashion plate?  As she is getting ready to ten I can see that she's definitely starting to get in that Tween stage.  She only wants to wear skinny jeans however I am occasionally able to get her to wear some cute Mustard Pie pieces with them as I did in this case.  Thank goodness :)

They also have a fun health area.  The kids love exploring everything that there was. Emma puts the x-ray skeleton together every time.  So much fun to watch her learn and grow with each passing year she does it. 

So those were some of our April Adventures.  This weekend Emma is having her first slumber party and the boys are going camping with Cal's Boy Scout troop. 

What adventures have you been on this month?

These Are Making Me Happy

Easter.  It was a big diving board for me.

I don't want to live a life of living in the shadows of what I want to do if I were more popular/confident/pretty/etc,etc. 

Rather I would like to live in the now.  For me.  To do what I find joy in.  Not for what I think others would like.  After all, a life chasing after someone else's dreams is so exhausting.

And so I have thrown off the shackles of self-doubt and am seeking out what truly makes me happy.  I'm not shopping the Matilda Jane collections thinking "oh, so and so has this dress,"  with a tinge of competitiveness that I should get it too.  Nope, I'm looking at what I like.  What I want.  What makes me feel happy!

 And so it is with those eyes that I look at the world and see what I like around me.  Here is what is on my list:

Galvanized Letters

I saw them at Joann Fabrics last night and I iust love them.  Trying to figure out where I would put one. I think there is one in every house on Fixer Upper.  Clearly I am cool because I like them too ;)

This man

Holy wow, he's incredible.  I've gotta tell ya, I am one hot mess.  I go through these times where I sit and wallow that he's not romantic enough, or we don't spend time alone like we used to, or whatever crap I can come up with and he just walks with me through it.  And then eventually our love brings me out of it and he helps me see that he may not be tv romantic but he helps with the kids baths and the laundry and the dishes and that's pretty darn romantic in its own right.  And we may not spend as much time alone as we used to but it's because we have two growing, silly, awesome kids and that seems like a pretty good reason to not have as much time alone.  Besides we do spend all of our free time together because we like each other. 

And just like that I swoon over him and am head over heels for him.  I can't believe he chose me and seriously folks, the dude chose me 15 years ago!  I'm thinking that me still being in awe of that means we really are in love or I'm just completely stupid.  Either way, I think we've got a pretty good thing going here :)

Our bed

Or any bed for that matter.  Last weekend we had a Mother/Daughter sleepover with Emma's American Heritage Girls troop.  We had a blast.  I didn't have a blast sleeping on the floor of the church basement.  I think I was the only mom who didn't have the foresight to bring an air mattress.  And oh what a silly mistake that was!

So after that night I have been coming to my bed almost with an unrequited love.  Ah bed, you just love me so much and take such good care of me!

Popsicle sticks

Who knew I could use them for so many "crafty" things?  Hahaha.  That's a teaser folks for my next blog to come ;) But they are definitely making me one happy Momma!

What things are making you happy today?  Count your blessings and comment what is bringing you joy! 

Have a great day, sweet friends!

Zulily has Jelly the Pug on Sale!

This blog post may contain affiliate links that help offset the cost of running this blog.  You can read my full disclosure policy here.

Eek, I couldn't wait to jump on here and let you know the news...

Now through the 19th Jelly the Pug is on Zulily! 

Jelly the Pug is my absolute fave brand for Emma!  Especially as she is getting older and more vested in what she is wearing each day, Jelly the Pug has really helped to keep the peace between us.  They sweet brands are "sassy" as little Kazoo says and the details like ankle ruffles, knee patches, or bows really help her feel like she is wearing something that is cool and far from boring.

I think that this dress has to be my favorite and it is on sale for only $17.99!  Regularly $48.00 you can see why I love Zulily so much!

I also am in crushing on this dress, the Hot Pink & Teal Love Birds Hannah dress. I love all of the patterns of fabric that they use and they way they mix them together. This dress is $17.99, on sale from $44.00!  So cute and ruffley. 

And if you are looking for a great Easter outfit or for a Spring tea I think this is just darling.  I love outfits for things like Easter egg hunts because they can have fun and they don't have to worry about sitting like a girl or bending over.  My Aunt calls these hippie pants and so does Emma now but we still think they are the cutest!  This is the Peach Sweet Heart Brandy Top and Pants.  This outfit is $19.99 and was originally $48.00.  Hello, you beautiful bargain you! 

So those are some of the Jelly the Pug over on Zulily that I am a bit obsessed with right now.  But hurry because the sizes and styles sell out really quickly :(.  If you are new to Zulily it is a bargain website that has new deals every day.  You have to be a member to shop but it's free to join! You can click here to join today and get to shopping for so many cute things...including Jelly the Pug!
 

Happy Shopping, sweet friends!

This blog post may contain affiliate links that help offset the cost of running this blog.  You can read my full disclosure policy here.

Musings From My Hotel Room...

Today as I am writing this I am sitting in our hotel room of our Marriage Workshop...you know, where he works and I shop ;).  And I guess he really wanted to make sure I was doing my fair share because our hotel is RIGHT across the street from the outlet mall. 

What a caring husband, right?

And as I'm sitting here there are so many things I want to share with you that I thought I would just do a bullet point list here and please feel free to comment and share with me your ideas on my random thoughts.  Here we go:

• Our coffee maker in this hotel room is in the bathroom and I find that completely off-putting.  Am I just a germ a phobe or does that eek you guys out too?  Just seemed like a horrid place to place items when you could have put it on the desk or the dresser or anywhere other than the bathroom.
• I just have to put this out there that blogging is hard work.  Ugh. Sometimes I wonder if it is worth it.  Scratch that.  Almost all of the time I wonder if it is worth it.  I mean, I basically talk to myself here.  It stinks sometimes and when I talk about myself I often feel like a narcissist. Nick and I had an interesting discussion this morning that was about my blog.  I was telling him how all of these other bloggers do "home tours" of their holiday decorations.  I meant to do one at Christmas and didn't and I then I meant to do one at Valentine's and didn't.  It wasn't that I forgot or anything but when I took the photos of my decorations in our home they looked so bleh.  I thought that they looked super cool and impressive at home but through the camera's eye and then staring back at me from my computer screen they just looked simple and blasé.  So my conversation with Nick was I shared this struggle with him and he thought that me sharing my home decorations would be like a "look at me" type of attitude.  Which I do sometimes feel like it is but then I feel like blogging in general can feel that way.  Which I would never would want to appear that I am doing!  I want to be a help and an encouragement or a "I did this in my home and by-golly you can too" kind of girl.  So I guess with this question I would love to know...would you have loved to of seen my decorations? Does it seem narcissistic?
• Along those lines I guess the cloudiness of self-doubt has crept in (it always tends to hit me around this time of the year, darn no sun!). But I find myself feeling unable to come up with anything that feels like an original thought to write about or to share or to take photos of and try to make someone's day.  So I'm really, really curious guys...what would you like me to write about?  More deals I find on the great wide-web? More personal stuff?  More homeschool stuff? More recipes?  What?  Please help your friend out and get me going again with motivation.  I would really love to know what you really love to read!
• Since I'm in a hotel room I feel it is only necessary to bring up the question we all wonder...why does hotel art have to be so gosh darn ugly? Ugh. Just horrid.
• Am I the only one who finds it incredibly awkward to work out in the hotel gym?  I went down there today and there was a man in there already using the elliptical.  Him and I, in dead silence.  It was super awkward and weird.  With some stranger.  I try to put my headphones on and think I am just here for exercise.  It's just like at the gym back home.  But it's not and it always still feels weird.

So there are my musings this morning from the hotel room here.  I hope you all have a great day! 

And if you get a chance I would love it if you could answer some of my questions :)

What's on the other side of your door?

This year I started trying to make my way through the bible.  As a Christian it seems absurd to me that I have never read all the way through the bible.  So that's my goal.

So I started at the beginning of the good book. I knew what was coming.  Creation, the Fall of Man, Cain and Abel, on and on...

I was in the Cain and Abel story when I came across this passage that stopped me in my tracks.  How had I missed this? 

“6 Then the Lord said to Cain, “Why are you angry? Why is your face downcast? 7 If you do what is right, will you not be accepted? But if you do not do what is right, sin is crouching at your door; it desires to have you, but you must rule over it.””

— Genesis 4:6,7

I feel like God summed up all of our temptations right here in the beginning of the Bible.

I got to thinking about all of the sins that have been crouching at my door.  Waiting to devour me, to take over my life, to have it's way with me and take over my life.

Last year my huge sin was laziness.  Holy Moley.  I let our house get trashed.  It was bad.  I was no longer taking joy in homemaking.  I wasn't planning for school like I should.  I let it take over my life.  I let it suck the happiness out of the life that God gave me.  It desired to have me like the verse said and by golly, it did. 

And it's been other things in my life that has been crouching on the other side of my door, waiting to take me and they have: jealousy, discontentment, anger, impatience. 

This year I've resolved after reading this to not let that happen.  I decided to rule over it, I turned it over to God and the Holy Spirit helps me daily. 

This past week I was sick. Sick, sick, sick with some type of cold of biblical-plague proportions.  So I find myself resting and then surfing Netflix, and then making my way through the Frasier series. 

And then the nudgings come.  That the laundry needs done.  The dishes still need to be washed.  That it's time to finish math. And I have the energy to get up and get things done.  To shirk off the chains of laziness or unhappiness. 

But I feel like this could be a good question to challenge you all with.  Gentle reader: what's crouching at your door? What is trying to take you over today?

Or maybe you feel like it already has, like you opened the door and it pounced on you and now you're in a full fledge battle of trying to get it off you.  What is it? What desires to rule over you?

Whatever it is, you must rule over it.  With God you can rule over it.  Today.  Do it.  Call out to Jesus for help and throw off the sin that wants to take you over.

I hope this speaks to you!  Have a wonderful day today!

Jane.com: Betty Necklace $8.99

**Update: This deal is over. Sorry, friends! *

Through Saturday, January 30th, Jane.com is offering This adorable Betty necklace for only $8.99 in 6 different colors!   

What a fun necklace to add to your collection! This necklace features a variety of beading making a unique and fabulous look. It has a great quality and will be one that you with tons of things

It is approximately 19.5" long with a 3" extender.

COLORS

• Coral

• Cream

• Gray

• Red

• Turquoise

• Yellow

I think I'm going to order the red.  I have quite a few items that would really make the color pop.  Remember these are only available through Saturday and you can check it out HERE.

Homeschool Co-op Drop Outs: What I've Learned

So I am a co-op drop out. 

Yep, I'm a cool homeschool mom like that. 

I keep thinking of that song about being a beauty school drop out. 

And yes that probably makes me a dork.  I'm learning to be okay with that.

The truth is that this has been a long time coming.

And by long time I mean about a month.

Here we go with my lengthy explanation.

We started a homeschooling co-op in the fall.  It was a group of other families with the moms teaching and assisting in the classrooms with class periods set up.  The kids went to different classes throughout the day and we had a lunch period in the middle. The co-op set the school year into trimesters. 

The first trimester seemed to go fairly well.  We had some issues but nothing serious in the classroom.  The big part I was having a bit of an issue with was when the second trimester came along, the only heavy weight class the kids were in was Chemistry and the kids were falling drastically behind the class with their homework. It wasn't for lack of trying but they were just not grasping what was being covered.  So I was having to struggle with how to get them to learn it while having them behind and not knowing whether to speed them up to be with the class while not understanding what they were doing or to stay behind to understand but go to class every week with unfinished homework and assignments.

The other classes were nice but they were extra curriculars.  Legos, crochet, etc.  And so by going to co-op I felt that we were kind of missing an entire day that could be used for instruction on fun stuff.  Don't get me wrong, I know they were learning things and having a great time with friends.  But I also knew that behind the scenes we were falling drastically behind in math, grammar, and latin.  Yoinkerdoodles.

I also somehow forget that Calvin has autism.  The summer and autumn we were in a really great cycle.  I don't look at my son and see "autism" plastered over his forehead, he's just him.  But over Christmas break he started being able to not communicate again.  And started stimming again.  And a whole other myriad of things including not having control over the tone of his voice.  So when he's answering you in a good mood he sounds like he sounds irritated and mad at you.  It's difficult on us.  It's super difficult on him.

And I just knew then and there.  There was no way I was going to be able to send him back to co-op like this.  I can't ask mothers to handle this when they have a classroom of other children to help.  I can't ask other children to act like nothing's going on when he's yelling at them for no reason. 

And so we dropped out.  I felt really bad.  I cried.  A lot.  I've asked that they allow us to return if we want but haven't heard what the final "verdict" from the leadership board is. 

But in the end of it, I am holding my head high.

I did what was best for our family.  While it was difficult for me because it might not be the best thing for Emma to leave but it is for Calvin, what that meant was if it's not good for one of us it can't be good for any of us.  It might seem unfair sometimes but we're learning we're a team and we have to stick together.

As a homeschooling mom I am constantly worried about what people think of me.  I don't want others to think I'm a "weirdo" because I homeschool.  I want the other homeschool moms to think I have it all together. Ugh.  it's just a weird place to be sometimes when you carry this title.  But in this instance I felt that I had finally grown mature enough to be able to recognize that this was not working and it wasn't the best fit for our family.

Through this homeschooling journey I swear I am learning as much if not more than the children are.  I'm learning to laugh in the rain, to give myself grace when things get rough, and to see things as trial and error rather than failures when they simply don't work out. 

As I write this we should be at co-op right now.

Instead we dropped out. Before I would have felt like a total failure because of that.

Instead we made it half way through a math lesson today before Calvin went into his quiet corner in the homeschool room and was on his own with his cat for 20 minutes.  Then he went and played piano.  He learned 15 spelling words and successfully wrote legibly two sheets of words for me in handwriting.  All of those are things we wouldn't have gotten done even last week.  I'm considering this a win.

And as a homeschooling mom and an autism mom, I'll take as many wins as I can get.

Happy weekend sweet friends!  Hope you learn to look for wins and to give yourself grace.  Love you!

To check out my blog on a link up with other cool ones click here!

Cleaning the Homeschool Slate

Freshening up the homeschool room.  That is what I am doing this week. 

I am a chronic "can't get this right-er".

The first semester I start out with very high hopes of how the homeschooling year is going to go.  I am going to rock the socks off of these kids.  They will learn so much.  Fireworks will go off.  Marching bands will play.  It will be glorious. 

Sadly, we start right after Labor Day in September and by Halloween, October is ending, and I am holding on by the skin of my teeth when it comes to lesson plans: we're grotesquely behind in grammar and math, no one has been able to find the science book for a couple of weeks now, and Latin has become "reviewing flashcards" rather than actually diving into any form of lesson.

Oh how lovely.

From there it is a steep, falling down a slope with jagged rocks fall into some sort of pit we could simply just call Christmas Vacation.

It ain't pretty friends. 

Those weeks between Halloween and Thanksgiving are littered with Halloween worksheets we didn't get to, Thanksgiving crafts that have no merit of learning in them (they would have had we not been doing them the past three years and so now they are tradition and cannot be deemed learning as both of the children are too young for any of the crafts). I try to do schoolwork somedays when we are not plastered with ballet practice for the Nutcracker or bell ringing with Boy Scouts, therapy, cooking, cleaning, baking, and parties.  AHHHH!!!!!

So now that all of the misery is behind us we are in the new year, it's a chance for me to start over and try to figure all of this out.  Again. 

Again, again.

And probably one more again thrown in for good measure.

Can any other homeschool Mama's relate? 

Can I get an Amen?

And that's just talking about our lesson plans not to talk about how the classroom looks like it's trying to eat itself by the time we get to Christmas.  How I bought all of these cool manipulatives before school started and have pretty much forgotten where I even put them.  Epic.mom.fail.

It's always amazing to me though how God takes these failures of mine and shows his grace to me through it all.

And unlike the post Christmas trash and clutter is a constant reminder of my failures, God takes our failures and wipes the slate clean.  Like it didn't happen.  How amazing is that?  I don't have to have a constant reminder of my clutter, of my disorganization, of the lack of time I spent when I should have to put things away rather than let them pile up and pile up.  Rather I can clean it up and there will be no trace of what was here.  Just like God's grace.

I have to tell ya I am an organizational book junkie.  I could sit for hours reading about how to organize and clean, what to use, etc. etc. Unfortunately the problem with those is that those hours spent on the couch reading those books doesn't actually clean hour house. Darn.  But a tip I learned from one of those books is to look at the space where whatever you are picking up actually was.  Acknowledge the spot of floor you can see when you pick up the pile of race cars, or whatever.  But see the cleanliness you have made in what could be a sea of dirtiness. 

Amazing friends.  Simply amazing.  And so today whatever junk you are cleaning up I encourage you to take the time to see what you have cleaned up and acknowledge that.  Be it the box of gift boxes that finally got put in the attic (that would be me I am looking at here!) or laundry you are determined to tackle, or whatever!  Acknowledge what you have gotten done rather than focus on how dirty the other parts are.  I think that's the best any of us can do, right?

I'll be here trying to get all of this right but fortunately we have the power of the Holy Spirit we can call on.  We don't have to do this alone sweet friends!  How amazing is that? 

Let's roll up our sleeves, wipe our slates clean (with God or in our homeschooling rooms!) and let's face our second chance in the face with a smile. 

Happy Monday friends!

What are you all working on this week?  I'd love to know so I can encourage and pray for you!  Comment below :)

This Year's Christmas For Real

So this is a behind the scenes I'm going to be honest post. 

This holiday season is not going as planned.

Picture me, early November, all curled up on the couch dreaming of how the holiday would be after Thanksgiving:

I'd get my decorations out before Thanksgiving to have time to mull over what I wanted to use, what I didn't want to, yada, yada.

Everything would be decorated and the bins would be put away by the end of the Thanksgiving weekend.

From there, every day we would make a magical recipe and would store them away to give for gifts or in anticipation of the big day.

I would tidily wrap 5 gifts a day and would be done by the week before Christmas so I didn't have to bother with last minute things.

All of this was just a big, fat wrong.

Wrong.

Wrong, wrong, wrong.

Wrong. Wrong.

And wait for it...

wrong.

So here has been the reality.  The week before Thanksgiving my grandmother passed away, which I wrote about here. She had been sick, she's in a better place, but somehow there has just been this fog.  I know you can't rush grief or getting over someone being gone but it just feels hard.  And foggy.  Some days I just want to stay home. And what should seemily have taken me no time (in my mind) and been done by now is still languishing around.

Further more from a working/website perspective this has made it so I have nothing to say. No fun Christmas tutorials over here. No house tours ready from this gal.  Unless you want "today I put on jeans and not leggings, and you can too" then yesterday I totally nailed that.

But the sad truth is that as I was wallowing.  Because that's what it's been, wallowing, I realized that maybe I'm not the only one wallowing.  And maybe that's the beauty from ashes that God pulls out of all of this and wants to use. 

This isn't our first Christmas that things haven't gone as planned.  It's not always happiness and sunshine over here folks.  There have been Christmas' where the tree fell over. Where we had no money when it certainly seemed we should. When there was no work and we had no money and it made sense we had no money.

But somehow God works through those tough times.

And I know He will work through this.

Everything will come together in His time.  I just have to give myself the grief and time.  To cry over the Christmas card I got from Grandma last year I found that sent me to grief all over again.  And the crying when I unwrapped the Christmas ornaments from her. It's all there.  All under the surface.  And I just need the time.

So I apologize to you readers.  I had a really great "Christmas countdown" series planned with games and strippers and rides and fun.  Well only one of those things was included but I digress...

Instead I am here with real life, living real, feeling real, hurting real, healing real.  And it's going to be okay. 

I hope that whatever you are going through this Christmas, your hurts, your pains, your money issues, the betrayals that you've been hurt with, the shocking news you just can't bounce back from; that that is the message of hope that I can share with you:

"It's going to be okay."

Forgive me for being absent.  Love you all.

Thanksgiving Outfits

Thanksgiving has never been my favorite.  Don't get me wrong, I like it, but I do love Christmas so to me Thanksgiving is just that moment before you are waiting for the plane to take off and you just want to get there already! 

However I do things to try to get myself a bit more in the mood.  One of the things that I do is to make lots of food.  That way I am vested in the holiday so I get a little more involved than bringing the canned cranberry sauce.  

Another thing I do is plan our outfits.  That way it is more exciting than just throwing on some clothes and getting out the door.  So today I am talking outfits and hoping you guys can help me plan what I am going to wear. 

First of all, this is the outfit that Emma is wearing.  isn't it fun?  It's fall colors without screaming Thanksgiving.  I let her pick her outfit this year and this is what she chose.  It's from Jelly the Pug.  I LOVE this brand's clothing!  They are sassy like our Emma, super colorful, and soft boutique clothing.  Jelly the Pug is only sold at boutiques or online at boutique stores but every once in a while you can get it on Amazon.  Check out their selection here!   Now if only it were so easy for me to pick an outfit.

Okay, so here is what I am thinking of...this is what I am liking on Pinterest right now...

As you can see I am feeling the black boots with a scarf or something tunic-y on.  Something cozy to gobble turkey in.  By the way if you are feeling my style feel free to check out my Pinterest Style Pinboard.  You know, I'm super trendy over here.  Ha, not quite but I try.  I'm aspiring you might say. 

So I love jane.com.  Have you ever been to their site?  They had amazing deals that designers put on there.  They are only for a limited time though so you have to snatch them up when you can.  I've ordered loads of things from there and have loved everything.  Here are some things that I am liking on jane.com :

Which one do you guys like?  

I'll try to remember to snap a picture of what I wear on the big Turkey Day!  I'd love to know what you all are planning on wearing for the big day too! 

Note: This blog contains affiliate links.  You can read my full disclosure policy here

Tigers and Bridges and the Randomness of it All

Sometimes life is a bit odd...

Like maybe you have a tiger for dinner.  

His name is Hobbes by the way.  

He wasn't thrilled with us not having tuna but he was a trooper and stuck around. 

There are some deep conversations going on.  

Deep. 

And then there's this girl.  Oh my, she has our whole big heart.  This girl is now a Junior Girl Scout.  No brownies for us around here.  

Sniff, sniff.  

I usually can make it through things pretty nonchalantly.  

Like sands through the hourglass...so are the days of our lives...

But this was taken during bridging ceremony which had me tearing up.  I think specifically because I kept remembering this silly girl in a blue daisy vest who had no problem wearing pigtails wherever she went.  

Where have those times gone?  

She just looks so grown up, I can hardly stand it!!!  

Aah!  

So that's the gist of what we've been doing in these parts.  

Oh and traveling.  

Lots and lots of travel.  In the last month we've been to Illinois, Wisconsin, North Carolina, Georgia, Tennessee, and Kentucky.  Whew!  I'll blog about those sometime but not now.  

Now is built for randomness.  

Along with randomness comes random thoughts and here ya go...

 I was thinking about this past year that happened. I know that is something that generally people do around the first of the year but I am a late bloomer so here I am. 

I am just in awe of how God has shaped my life.  I have made peace with things I've struggled with for years.  FOR YEARS!  Things that you want to talk to people about and wrestle with and fret over and then it just eats you up .  Anyway, I finally took the plunge and answered God's calling to make things right and you know what?  It really was no big deal.  I mean it was a big deal but not nearly as big as my worried mind had made it into over the years.

I've also made things right with someone I was mean to in the past.  Do you have those people where you think about your past with them and kind of cringe?  Am I the only one who has done that?  Anyway, this person isn't really in my life anymore, but thank goodness for Facebook and its reconnecting ways!  I was able to reach out and apologize and I felt so much better.  Whether it was accepted or not I at least tried to make things right.  And you know what?  They forgave me and we were able to move past it which is so amazing.  God is just so good!

And on the other end of things I was able to finally bury the past with someone else who it just didn't work out with.  Someone who we had tried to make things right with and it was not reciprocated.  Shortly after we decided to cut ties (by we I mean Nicholas and I as we try to make decisions together) I read this devotion about not being close with everyone.  It gave the example of David not being all buddy buddy with Saul when he was trying to kill him but fled.  So I have felt such peace with the need to flee after a season of trying.  

And that's just the way God is.  I am so reminded of Romans 8:28:

“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”

And I could go on and on with other examples about how God has helped us in family situations or I've seen God stand up for me.  In things with our house and car and traveling mercies, so much God has done this past year.  God is working everything out for our good.  It's so awesome to know that and have the peace that that brings. 

And so whatever you are going through, whether it has to do with having tigers over for supper or big girls walking over a bridge towards you and their future, just know that God works it all out for your good.  

Love you friends! 

Awana

Last night was the Awards Ceremony for our kiddos Awana Program.  

We go over our Awana for the week every day during school so it's basically our Bible Curriculum which is easy peasey for me.  

All of the kids get some type of award which I think is super awesome.  This year Emma only got a participation award as she didn't get her books done.  The kids that did get their books completed received really neat awards so I'm hoping that gives her incentive to work extra hard next year to get things memorized and completed.  

Nothing like a little peer pressure, right?  

Anyway, because of he homeschooling Emma and Cal don't experience the fun days that school kids do like pajama day or crazy hair day.  And that's where Awana steps in.  I love that they get to experience "bring on spring day" or "crazy hat day" here so it kind of makes up for the lack of those days in school. 

Where Emma and Calvin attend Awana the award ceremony has an award time and then a little slide show.  It was so fun to see Emma in the sanctuary with her little friends grouped together, giggling over the pictures and having fun together.  I'm so glad she gets to have that somewhere.  Those are the types of things I get sad that she is missing out on in school.  

Now that Awana is over we are looking into the Awana TruthScripts program for home.  Has anyone done this?  It's a program for families to memorize together and it appears they have free resources and things on their site for you to use at home as incentives and prizes for learning verses.  You can check it out here.  

Next year we will be doing Awana again.  Calvin will be in Sparks and Emma will be in the Truth in Training program...can't wait to get started again and see how much they can learn!  

And let me know if you've done the Awana home program!  Did you like it lots?