What If...

A couple of weeks ago I bore my soul to y’all about my decision to be happy. It was really hard and took me WAY out of my comfort zone to share that.

But I’m so glad I did.

Sharing a part of myself with everyone has been brutal on my emotions, but it has also been so redeeming. It has taught me so many things about everyone. First of all, I had so many people reach out to me with a combined voice to say that I was saying exactly what was on their heart as well.

It is so nice to know I am not alone and heartbreaking at the same time to know that we women have been listening to the voices within for far too long.

It makes me wonder when did this all start and what if we hadn’t listened to the voice at all?

What if…

What if we all stopped looking at exercise as something we have to do? What if we started looking at it as something we get to go? How radical would that change your world? I found a class I LOVE that is combination of Pilates and yoga. It stretches me mentally and physically. It works me until I’m sore and I adore going to this class. It is my me time.

What if we stopped looking at clothes in a way that we have to cram ourselves into a certain number or we are doomed? I spent too much time trying to cram my body into a size that wasn’t reasonable. Once I gave up and started dressing to cover my body in enough fabric that I didn’t look like I was trying to win a sausage race, I discovered I looked better and was actually comfortable!

via GIPHY

What if we stopped degrading ourselves as mothers if we put our feet up and read the magazine? What if we started looking at that as needed time of self-preservation.

What if we stopped and looked at the sky, or the way the leaves move in the breeze? What if we stayed there for 10 minutes? What if worship comes in acknowledging the creator of all these things?

What if we start acknowledging things for what they are when they are sucking our soul dry to the very marrow we cling to for life? What if we sought out things of beauty that our souls were made to crave, made to love, made to need? What if we filled our homes with soft music, fresh flowers, and flickering candles, just for ourselves and our love of the beauty it invokes into our true selves through each sense?

What if we taught our children that cleaning the house or studying math or memorizing sonnets was not some gloom and doom situation but was rather a chance to take care of the kingdom, to take a glimpse at the handiwork of God in creating this universe? What if we cracked open a book of difficult literature or studied works of art as part of a journey to catch a glimpse of the face of our creator carved through the works of His created beings?

What if we strove to understand the bible and his ideas, not so we can check off our “devotion” checkbox but so we can sit at the feet of God and bask in his life giving light? What if we fed off of his truths? What if we hung to the very word of God, the red inked letters in the manuscript of love as much as we cling to the Pinerest worthy quotes that mere mortals say about God?

What if we all actually believed the bible? What if we all didn’t internally kind of roll our eyes at the verses we’ve come to know from the beginning of our churched lives but actually took them to heart and coveted their meaning? What if we hid their words in our heart, words like HE CREATED US IN HIS IMAGE? Would listening to those words have helped me to block out the voice in my head? If I had not only hidden his word in my heart, not simply etched it into my being but gouged it into my very existence, could I have fought off the true enemy who brings words of scorn and deceit and disdain?

Certainly.

There are so many what ifs in life.

What if we all joined together today to spread love and not hate, to build other women up instead of clawing them down?

What if?

I am Tweaking the Direction of this Website

Alright I'm just going to get right to the point:

I've been kind of hating this blog. 

At first I set out to blog to chronical my kiddos. 

Loved it. 

This blog then provided me with basically a resume that a major newspaper picked me up and I wrote for them. 

Still loved it. 

I even went on to several magazines who saw my tone and insight as something unique and special. 

Loved that.

Then Cal was diagnosed with Autism and while my first purpose remained I got so much feedback when I blogged about my feelings and emotions about everything that I felt really inspired.  I wanted to share with other moms and to be help along the way in their journeys with autism. 

Loved that.

Along the way though I got the idea to blog for money. So I got off of blogger.  I had this pafe designed.  I started to look cool. 

And that's when I started to love it all a bit less.  I convinced myself that it was just because it was a different platform and because it was all so new. 

I researched everything and started blogging what I thought y'all would want to read rather than what I wanted to write about.

And so that made me like it less.

I got into some business agreements.  I had a commitment.  And with commitment comes a promise to write even when I can't find the words. 

And that's when I started to like all of this a lot less. 

And so I've kind of stepped away from it all.  I've been thinking if I wanted to write at all or if I just wanted to scrap it. 

But what I come back to time and time again is that I love writing about our life here for family and friends to read who live a ways away. 

And I like to write about homeschooling.  It seems like when I do that and I am showing you what we are doing that it helps to keep me accountable and to keep homeschooling cool for the kids so I can help all of you with your homeschool journeys.  I like to share. I'm a sharer. 

So in taking a break I've decided that this blog will be more homeschool oriented.  That may be a bleh or a yeah for you depending on who you are.  I'm still planning on sharing cool stuff to do with your kids and about our lives. 

But I wanted to be open about this all.  I am changing the game, I am going back to my roots and I am blogging about what is keeping ME Super Busy at Home. 

I hope you'll stick around for the journey.  It's all so much fun. 

Love to you all!

These Are Making Me Happy

Easter.  It was a big diving board for me.

I don't want to live a life of living in the shadows of what I want to do if I were more popular/confident/pretty/etc,etc. 

Rather I would like to live in the now.  For me.  To do what I find joy in.  Not for what I think others would like.  After all, a life chasing after someone else's dreams is so exhausting.

And so I have thrown off the shackles of self-doubt and am seeking out what truly makes me happy.  I'm not shopping the Matilda Jane collections thinking "oh, so and so has this dress,"  with a tinge of competitiveness that I should get it too.  Nope, I'm looking at what I like.  What I want.  What makes me feel happy!

 And so it is with those eyes that I look at the world and see what I like around me.  Here is what is on my list:

Galvanized Letters

I saw them at Joann Fabrics last night and I iust love them.  Trying to figure out where I would put one. I think there is one in every house on Fixer Upper.  Clearly I am cool because I like them too ;)

This man

Holy wow, he's incredible.  I've gotta tell ya, I am one hot mess.  I go through these times where I sit and wallow that he's not romantic enough, or we don't spend time alone like we used to, or whatever crap I can come up with and he just walks with me through it.  And then eventually our love brings me out of it and he helps me see that he may not be tv romantic but he helps with the kids baths and the laundry and the dishes and that's pretty darn romantic in its own right.  And we may not spend as much time alone as we used to but it's because we have two growing, silly, awesome kids and that seems like a pretty good reason to not have as much time alone.  Besides we do spend all of our free time together because we like each other. 

And just like that I swoon over him and am head over heels for him.  I can't believe he chose me and seriously folks, the dude chose me 15 years ago!  I'm thinking that me still being in awe of that means we really are in love or I'm just completely stupid.  Either way, I think we've got a pretty good thing going here :)

Our bed

Or any bed for that matter.  Last weekend we had a Mother/Daughter sleepover with Emma's American Heritage Girls troop.  We had a blast.  I didn't have a blast sleeping on the floor of the church basement.  I think I was the only mom who didn't have the foresight to bring an air mattress.  And oh what a silly mistake that was!

So after that night I have been coming to my bed almost with an unrequited love.  Ah bed, you just love me so much and take such good care of me!

Popsicle sticks

Who knew I could use them for so many "crafty" things?  Hahaha.  That's a teaser folks for my next blog to come ;) But they are definitely making me one happy Momma!

What things are making you happy today?  Count your blessings and comment what is bringing you joy! 

Have a great day, sweet friends!

Music and Munchies...there's nothing sweeter

 This morning Emma had a cough so I kept her in bed to take it easy.  I know it was just a little cough...she didn't have a fever or anything (well I guess she did have a touch of a stuffy nose) but to tell you the God's honest truth I am terrified of any of my children getting H1N1 and dying.  I know that sounds extreme but, show up with a little cough and I am putting you in bed.  Just be warned :)

 Anyway, I had a doctor's appointment this afternoon so cough or no cough, the kids had to go to their art classes.  Before we left though we stopped to have a little jam session...Emma on the electric guitar and Cal on the drums.  They got really hot and heavy into it when I went out to warm up the car. When I came back in you would have thought they were acoustically torturing something :)

 two, three, four...In case your noticing, yes I still have the price tag on our drums...don't judge  :)

 And Emma on the guitar..strumming away on the stand, silly girl.  She had to squeeze in next to all of the cookies we are selling for Girl Scouts :)

Anyway, as mentioned earlier I had a doctor's appointment.  It was my annual exam..."the lady one" as my husband says :)  I hate those appointments, don't you?  I have no earthly reason why but the week coming  up to it I am terrified for no apparent reason. I think I am always scared they are going to find breast cancer or ovarian cancer, or tell me I have a week to live.  Something awful like that.  But no lumps were found and no one said "ewww" when the sheet was lifted so I think up to this point I am in the clear :)

In honor of that I picked the little goofies up from art and then proceeded to snuggle up with a chocolate piece, a giant cup of coffee, and a teachers catalog.  A successful appointment calls for a little celebration right?  And besides they might call tomorrow with news of the death outcome so I'd guess I'd better enjoy things while I can, right?  :)

Seize the day, folks, seize the day!

Happy Birthday/ Election Day

I hate when my Birthday falls on Election Day!  Grrr.  "Happy Birthday now back to the polls..."

But that's just my luck this year.  Today I turn 31 if you are just dying to know.  I don't feel bad about it at all.  God has given me so much and I feel so blessed to be a wife, mother, and homemaker.

I can't wait to live the rest of the life the Lord blesses me with.  God is so good.

I am one blessed lady.

This weekend we celebrates in Door County at the Cottage.  More on that some other time, I'm sure...

Sorry for the short post.  I'm off celebrating my Birthday... :)

Oh yes, and Election Day!

Sleep Deprived and Loving It

Yesterday was our second day of homeschool.  Already I am exhausted.  We schooled at Panera, picked up Cal, had a quick lunch, continued on with school, and then had some quiet time, which consisted of laundry and cooking and cleaning.  After quiet time was over we headed out to walk the dog, then came back home to get some more cleaning done and make dinner.  After dinner we took the kids to the nearby riverwalk to ride their bikes, and then it was home to put kiddos to bed.  Usually I am kind of happy after putting the kids to bed because that is when alone time with Nick starts. 

N to the No last night.  Last night I tucked the kids in feeling like I was just getting started.  As I had to get things put into workboxes for today, pack up our school bag to do school at therapy, rearrange the books on our new bookshelf (totally not necessary I was just trying to be psycho apparently), pay bills, clean the kitchen from dinner, and on and on and on....

I feel like I am buring my candle at both ends.  There's just no way that I can wake up at 4:00 in the morning and try to go to bed at midnight.  I don't think it's going to work. 

On top of that my adorable annoying husband loves to snore, so when I do go to bed about 50% of the time I cannot sleep at all.  Every morning after a night of no sleep because of his ridiculousness I am fed the same lie..."I'll go to the doctor and get some help."  But it has not happened.  Ugh. 

For the past four years I was up MULTIPLE times with Cal as he couldn't sleep.  We started him on medication that helped his sleep in June. 

In July Nick started to snore. 

Ah, pure bliss that month of sleep I got (read my dry horrid sarcasm here). 

So slowly but surely these guys in my life are trying to kill me.  Some type of old chinese torture technique I suppose.  Or nazi. 

That's what I get for marrying a man of German descent. Oh great. 

Cause of death? 

Lack of sleep.  Hahaha.  They'll dance on my grave.   It will be some type of Oktoberfest celebration, I'm sure. 

Anyway, where was I?

Oh yes.  So two days into school and I am already exhausted.  My solutions have been to hire a cleaning lady.  Or to run away from home.  Maybe both.  Irony always gets the last word my friends. 

Sorry, this makes no sense.  I am tired.  And I think my shoes are tied too tight.  My brain is sending all of my blood to my feet in an effort for them to not be cauterized or something.  If I knew how to do spell check on this new computer I would spell check cauterize.  But I don't.  And my blood is in my feet. 

So now if you'll excuse me I'm going to go teach my children.  I'm sure you're glad that I am in charge of their education right about now, right? 

 

Well here I am.  What weird days these have been. 

Yesterday I was doing some work on the computer during naptime and went downstairs to check on the children.  I figured I would finish up my work last night but never made it back to the computer. 

After I checked on the children I felt kind of tired so I laid down on the couch and took a short nap.  When I awoke I felt suddenly miserable...chills, achey and my head felt like a rock...I couldn't even lift it up.  I was dizzy and weird. 

When Nick called to say he was on his way home I could barely get the phone.  I have such an amazing husband.  He told me to not worry about getting dinner around...just to stay on the couch and he would take care of everything. 

I have such an amazing husband.  I am so blessed.  When he came home he got me into bed and then made the children dinner and played with them all night.  I was sleeping but apparently he sent the children upstairs to get their pajamas on...that's when Cal thought it a good idea to try to climb his dresser.  

It fell over on him...not good. 

Thank the Lord he is okay.  He has a little bruise but other than that it is okay.  Which is amazing as Nick said that the whole dresser was on him and his leg was pinned in a drawer. 

About 1:45 in the morning I woke up and felt so much better.  I woke up Nick who confirmed that yes I didn't feel like I was going to catch anything on fire anymore...praise the Lord my fever had broken! 

I woke up and felt better (not 100% but maybe about 57%?), got Cal to bed and Emma and I got back on the couch to watch some Kit Kitteredge.  Did I mention Emma?  Last night she started saying her head was feeling "swimmy"...she had a little bit of a fever but not too bad.  When I checked on her last night in her sleep I knew she felt bad because she looked horrible! 

This morning she couldn't get her head off the pillow it was so "swimmy" as she put it! 

I've given her some Motrin and now she's starting to feel better.  We are both on the upswing but decided that movies are the way to feel better. 

Nick's Mom picked up Cal from preschool so we could rest and he will be spending the afternoon over there...I'm hoping that that will give us a chance to recoop and it will help keep him away from us sickies. 

So there are our days.  I hope to be feeling better tomorrow so I can get back on my feet and get things in this house around...it is very apparent that Daddy's were not meant to run households!

Our Humble Home

http://mypaintinggallery.wordpress.com/2010/04/23/thomas-paintings/kinkade/

"Thank God, O women, for the quietude of your home, and that you are queen it it.
Men come at eventide to the home; but all day long you are there, beautifying it, sanctifying it, adorning it, blessing it.
Better be there than wear a queen's coronet. Better be there than carry the purse of a princess.
It may be a very humble home.
There may be no carpet on the floor. There may be no pictures on the wall.
There may be no silks in the wardrobe; but, by your faith in God, and your cheerful demeanor, you may garniture that place with more splendor than the upholsterer's hand ever kindled." 

--Reverend T. DeWitt Talmage, D.D

I love this little snippet of inspiration that was spoken by Reverend Talmage (1832-1902).  Last week and the week before I was feeling a little blue.  I wouldn't say it was a full-blown depression, but I just was feeling mopey and uninterested in anything for no good reason.  Does anyone else ever feel this way?  Ugh, sometimes there's just no good reason for it.

I'm so glad that I have a loving Heavenly Father who makes sure to snap me out of it before it spirals out of control.  And I have a husband who is on me to talk about it and do whatever it takes to feel like myself again. 

So I talked to Nick about it.  A lot.  I remember him telling me that I am the little heart of this family.  Isn't that just the most precious thing???  He went on to explain himself: that when I am sad and mopey that is the general feel of the whole house.  Everyone waits to see how I am reacting.  Our home's warmth and feeling reflects my own.

And I guess that is somewhat true.  So when I read this quote above the other day, it really hit home. 

I desire a home that is quiet and peaceful, and no maybe we don't have the most stuff or the nicest things in the world but the job God gave me is to work with what I have to make our home welcoming, and inviting, and my family's safe haven. 

So my prayer is that in the coming months I may offer my family a place of warmth, and refuge, physically and spiritually.  This goal has brought me out of my slump, and when I think of it, I take the time and make the effort to stay up a little later than normal to get the kitchen completely clean, or wake up earlier than I prefer to fold laundry and tidy our little home. 

My prayer:
May all who enter our home leave feeling better than before.

God bless you and your home today...

A Little Bit of Everything

So here it is 11:30 at night and I am still awake. Errr. Nick has been working nights and lets just say it has been a little difficult. I absolutely cannot sleep when he is not around. He's my big strong protector, and my snuggler. I feel so lonely when he is not around. So here I am awake and probably will be through the wee hours of the night. This too shall pass, right?

Anyway a lot has been going on around here and since I am up and bored I thought I might share it with you:

Emma
Emma starts soccer next week and has about two more weeks of Gymnastics. She LOVES gymnastics (which is a hard word for me to spell for some reason!). She is thin and petite and can do things on her own that even the 4-year olds can't do yet. I think we might have found something that she is going to stick with and be really good at. Every time she gets ready to do something she belts out towards the teacher "I can do this on my own!" its pretty hilarious.

Emma's behavior is like a bi-polar teenager who is off their meds. I swear, its crazy sometimes. I have been trying to give her lots of love and extra attention. It seems to be working and she has calmed down. I don't know what it is but the smallest things can set her off. When she is not being "set off" she is so helpful with Calvin and just an all around sweetheart.

She also has such an imagination! During quiet time this afternoon her and Baby Grace built a machine that would fill baskets with fruit so they don't have to do it themselves...apparently she's been a sweat shop worker up to this point, so thank the Lord for that machine!

School wise Emma has knocked our socks off. She is basically one of the smartest kids in her class. She knows her address, can write her name, and knows all of her upper and lower case letters. She is also spelling words to us and telling us out of the blue things like "Elephant starts with E" which upon asking the teachers they have NOT been teaching, she is just picking this stuff up on her own! *proud Mommy here*

Calvin
Well I have gotten to the point where I am not crying everyday about Calvin's Apraxia. Praise the Lord He has helped me through that storm. It really was a storm of self pity and blaming myself. A lot of friends and reading have helped me to see that nothing I could have done could have prevented this and God gave us this challenge for a reason.

Calvin is so incredibly happy, when I am having a crappy day his smile really changes my mood. We've had two therapists both comment that he is going to get through this okay because he is happy. He really does seem to have the joy of the Lord!

Therapy wise I can barely keep anything straight! We've had two evaluations with Occupational Therapists (dealing with how he moves his body) and they both found problems that need addressed. So we are working on an at-home therapy program being set up. They are thinking that his disawareness of how his body moves (imagine your whole body feeling like it fell asleep) may be what is also causing some of the apraxia. So we will see if speech improves as his physical movement improves. He also has been really, really hurting me. Just me for some reason. He especially likes to bite me and try to strangle me (yes I did say he has the joy of the Lord). The occupational therapist said he has a problem with knowing how hard he is doing things so he probably isn't even trying to kill me. :) Speech wise we still aren't getting there. We only have our therapist until he's 3 and then we are left to pay out of pocket $300.00/hour. We are starting a more aggressive approach (meaning we are paying out the ear for therapy tools to use) so hopefully that will work. Please keep us in your prayers as we monetarily do whatever is necessary to get this kid to talk). We are also facing the option that if he doesn't talk it is going to be best to homeschool him. I just don't feel ready or capable to do that but I know if that is what God wants us to do I will do it.

Calvin has learned his colors! And almost has opposites down. He's got in and out, up and down. He is really improving on his signs. He is TRYING to say things but if you babysat him you would have no idea what he is saying Aaagaaa is Lightyear for example.

Calvin is starting to potty train. Lately he has been telling me all of the time he has to go potty just to shoot right back up and demand M&M's...his reward for telling me he has to go. Fail.

Calvin's eczema has been SUPER bad the last couple of weeks. A few nights ago I was up all night with him while he was trying to scrape his skin off. Hopefully with new medication we will be on the mend but it has been a rough patch...ha, get it!

Calvin is in swim lessons (remember the choking he likes to do? 10x worse when we hit water...he HATES water! However the last two weeks we have not been because the chlorine aggravates his skin.

Nick
Nick works. Eats. Sleeps. and then works some more. Poor guy. I can't tell you how grateful we are to that man that he is providing so well for us. Just the fact that I would be able to stay home with the children is something I never, NEVER would have considered as a possibility 6 months ago.

Lindsay
I am home with the kids and am not getting NEARLY as much done around the house as I had hoped. I just keep thinking of that saying about how housework can wait because babies grow up far too quickly...

I am hoping to start taking more pictures of what we have been up to in the everyday. If it doesn't get recorded anywhere else, at least it will be in this blog, right?

I am freelance writing which I thought would just be something I would do here and there but I have had three stories assigned to me and I have been out of work for a month! I feel truly blessed for what God has done.

Typing that I have been out of work for a month just brought around the reality that I have been out of work for only a month...holy cow, how did that happen? It feels like it has been six months...who says staying at home is easy? ;)

I am really trying to read my body and let God guide all of our decisions. I have such a desire for a marriage and a family that is solely dependent on God. I feel so blessed for a Christian husband who is helping me every day to teach our children about the Love of Christ.

So...what have you been up to?

The Real Me

Yep, this is me...LindsayAnn.

I'm a dork. Totally and unappreciated.

I am a constant worrier. If there is nothing to worry about I will make something up.

I've decided I do not like people who think they are better than me because they hit the gym more than me. All that means is you probably have some type of fungal problem on your hands.

I still wonder what in the world my husband sees in me.

I am striving to be joyful about everything and happy and fun...which in turn means I am no longer worrying.

I have the funniest children you've ever seen.

I love playing the Game of Life over and over and over and over

I will creep you on Facebook...just know it.

I make to-do lists of how to tackle my to-do list.

I love the Lord and am in complete awe, speechless, no words to make, about this fantastic life God has given me.

My one addiction...hazelnut coffee creamer.

Sushi is something I yanked my husband over into and I think he's loving it too. Banana Republic is what he got me hooked on...whose was more expensive?

Spring is for lovers...totally for us.

Enjoy Sunday...it is the LORDS DAY! :)

Drowning Fast

Why didn't someone shoot me when I thought I would be able to get so much done around the house being a Housewife? Today was definitely one for the records. It started with Emma getting into bed with me at 4 am, simultaneously waking up her brother. She then announced..."is there anything to do? I'm not tired at all." No! Go to bed!

This morning we had library school in which I arrived way too early. Errr. Then we met Bean and Mom for lunch and we were late. Then we went shopping and Cal discovered how exhilarating it is to punch me while I try to push the cart. Then we got home from shopping at 3 only to have 2 awake kids cry that I dare try to put them down for a nap.

Now we are having the screaming match that has become routine with Emma every night. She wants to be held, she doesn't want her mom to leave the room, etc. etc. So Nick has yelled, and spanked her, and I have done the same. Does anyone else have any advice? Am I a terrible mother that I am not coddling her? On one hand I think "well she's only 3" and then on the other hand I think "good grief, grow up, you're 3!" So I continue on with Mom guilt, bleary eyed from lack of sleep.

Our house looks like some type of intercity tornado stormed through. There is ham and bean soup cooked onto our stove and Nick is watching skating on tv. My head feels like it is going to explode with all of this! Errrr!

A Day

I am working until noon today and then I am going to have the day to myself! I am going to be going to the mall to return some shoes and do a little shoping for the children. After that I am going to go to Target to hopefully purchase an Easter dress and some yummy sushi for lunch. I will eat said lunch at home while I let the dog out to do her thing. After that I will be going to the outlet mall to try to find some shoes for myself, some cute Valentine's Boxers for the love of my life, and possibly some easter outfits for the children.

How can I do this you ask? Because I have the best in-laws in the world (mother and father that is...I don't know about the rest of you yet! j/k :) ) They are taking the kids today. Nick is picking them up after work and will eat dinner down there, thus meaning that I have a day to myself and I also do not have to make dinner. Woot, woot!

I am so super excited because quite frankly, I just need a day! I need time to myself. And if I am super productive I will come home from errands and shopping and have time to get cleaning done so I can enjoy the weekend with the children. Hooray!

I hope you all have a fantastic weekend and are relaxed and refreshed come Monday!

Thrilling Thursday!

Well we have made it to Thursday! Isn't God just amazing? Every day should be viewed as a gift.

This morning those little blessings of mine were awake at 4 am. I must admit that when it feels like the middle of the night and everyone is awake, it is very difficult for me to treat my little blessings, like, well, little blessings. But when I left for work they were still awake, and they were happy. Happy little ones is all a Mommy can ask for.

Nicholas is hard at work today too. I was thinking of that last night. A few months ago I would have given anything for him to be back to work, and then when he is I feel lonely and sad that he's not there. What in the world is wrong with me? Why am I always so discontent about everything? Take this weekend for an example. Nicholas has worked all weekend and of course I am busy making plans. He thinks he may have an opportunity to work overtime this weekend which he must do to provide for us (that is our plan at least!). No sooner do I hear this then I am upset and sad that we can't do the things we were talking about. Seriously, what is wrong with me?

So here is what I am doing. I am going to change. I know, shocking, right?

I am going to be joyful and happy in all things! That is something I want my children to pick up and those are traits I want them to carry with them all through life. Plus the Bible tells us to be joyful! How can I talk about how God has so richly blessed us and how AWESOME He is if I am down in the dumps about everything?

1 Thessalonians 5:15-17 tells us:

"Make sure that nobody pays back wrong for wrong, but always try to be kind to each other and to everyone else.
Be joyful always; pray continually;"

And so this will be my new life. How can I be grumpy or mad or sad if I am making it a point to be happy and joyful?

Will you jump on the joyful train with me? Will you make that promise to always try to find the good in every situation? To be happy when your old self probably wouldn't have been?

2010

The first Monday of the year. These past three days have simply been tied into the holiday season and to me this is it...the first day of the new year. Things have started pretty much as planned. I awoke at 4 am to work out and was extremely proud of myself. I also woke up at approximately 1:58 to pee and then had an Emma talking in her sleep to contend with. But I woke up for sure at 4, worked out and made breakfast for myself. A healthy peek-a-boo egg which would have been healthy had I not burned every nutrient out of it possible. But I ate it anyway despite the health risks involved. I ate it on this lovely plate I have which is a set of 4 and each has a Victorian home on it. Ah, how I love those. And of course my coffee cup which is embarrassing that it is a promotional product for the area airport that Nicholas received at his former job. But I digree and now sit happily here wasting time away in the wee hours of the morning, with a full tummy and ears full of Emma apparently still talking in her sleep.

This past weekend was one of the best ones in my life. You see Nicholas had promised me a vacation when he became reemployed. Super exciting. However going from spending virtually nothing to hundreds of dollars on a vacation for just him and I seemed somewhat of a culture shock to me. So I suggested a staycation. Nick's mom took the kids and had them overnight. This was also the first time they have ever stayed over anywhere without us so we figured it was a good time to do it since we were in town if needed. Anyway, Friday we dropped the children off and then did shopping. We didn't go crazy or anything but my how good it felt to purchase something I liked. Wow. Some good deals I found were that we used a coupon at Old Navy and managed to get Nick two shirts, and for me a sweater and a sleep mask and we paid $3.58. Not bad. I also got a silver serving platter for a steal and a 3-pack of curling irons for $8.00....oh how we scored!

We went to Olive Garden for lunch which was the best meal I've had in a long time. Had a wine there, a Moscato, that I now heart and want to bathe in. But they don't sell it along here so alas, I guess I won't. :( At night we did some more shopping and then went to a cute renovated theater and saw "It's Complicated" in which I threatened Nick with death if he ever cheated on me after 20 years. I think I said something like "I know people throw around I would kill you, but seriously if you did that...I WOULD KILL YOU. I mean you'd better run." heehee. Then we got to do something we have not done since 2005. We slept in our house...alone...and we slept past 7:30. Wow. I had completely forgotten what it feels like to be rested. Geesh how spoiled am I now?

That morning we went back out for breakfast at Panera. Nick tried a souffle and LOVED it so I now have the green light to make those. Score! Super and unabashedly excited about that. Then we did some more shopping and just had a lovely time. Nick took me home and went to get the children. I cleaned to the sound of Pop's greatest hits and let me tell you I has THE best time cleaning. The children came home to a super clean home and a happy and rested Mommy.

That night we dined on Chinese food which the kids love! We rented Julie and Julia for when the children were asleep and we opened our last bottle of wine from our vacation last year. We were saving it for a special occassion. So opening it made it real that we are now employed again and everything seems right in the world. Besides I think being blissfully in love and better than before after this crisis we had been in...I think that is a cause for celebration in its own right, don't you?

Oh and I forgot...Saturday night we took the children to play in the snow. Oh how they loved it and how much fun we had being silly. I am so lucky to have these silly and wonderful children in my life. God has blessed me so far past my expectations.

So here's to a 2010 that is going to be amazing. I know because I serve a God who is, well...AMAZING!