This is My Grown-Up Christmas Wish

Hey guys!   I hope that today you are happy and feeling blessed because, well, you are! 

I just wanted to share a little backstory behind my blog and a little about what has been going on behind the scenes...that's a lot about behinds but then it will be looking forward from here on out I tell ya ;)

I started this blog SOOO long ago.  About 2007 I believe?  So almost 10 years ago. I have been blogging for so many reasons throughout the years but the number one reason behind my blog has been because I have always loved to write.  After I had our daughter Emma my blog became a way to document things we were doing in her life and it served as a way to keep out-of-state family connected into our life.  After our son Calvin was born and then diagnosed with Autism my blog morphed into a new form that enabled me to tell other moms "you are not alone" because I know that I felt alone and often ashamed by everything I was feeling and going through. 

My blog started on blogger and then has taken me places I never thought possible.  My blog opened the door for me to have my own column and lifestyle blog with our local newspaper and after I left the paper it opened doors for me to become a freelance author and writer of some really great projects in magazines.  It's been an amazing journey and I love how I got to where I am today!

Today I have this blog for the reasons mentioned still but also as a way to kind of get me out of myself and out of the house!  I have felt God's calling for a while now that I have a gift and a message that no one else out there in the world has to share.  I love that He made each of us unique and special and I want to share that with others!  God also placed in my life my amazing cousin who when I was finally ready for a "real" website she constructed everything for me and put it all together seamlessly.  It's been such a great journey!  

So there's the backstory of my blog.  Now onto the behind the scenes of what is happening currently...

Earlier this year I turned 35 and had a clear vision...no more bad days. 

No more days of feeling like I hadn't accomplished anything, days where I was ashamed of being me, days where I was embarrassed at night to come before the Lord in prayer with nothing to offer Him.  I just felt depleted and done. I know that "no more bad days" isn't really possible but I have decided to live intentionally and to not let life just fly by me. 

I know God has great plans for me; I stand in faith in that statement.  And so on my 35th birthday I decided to start living intentionally. I would try to have the best day...everyday.  Now of course that isn't possible and of course already I have stumbled and fallen but, by golly, I am determined! 

One of the areas of my life I have felt determined in is my blog.  The past year (or so!) I have had my blog take a back seat.  I've written when I wanted to, not really worked on it, and as a result when I come back to it it feels neglected to me.  I didn't want that anymore either. 

I really felt like I needed an assistant though with everything that comes with blogging today (did you know it's more than just sitting down and writing?) Watermarks, editing, cropping...and that's just for the photos!  Then there's the actual content, marketing through social media, pinterest, I could go on and on but that's not what this is about!  I also felt like I needed some sort of accountablility. 

So I got up all the courage I had and decided to hire someone.  Sorry, "hire" someone.  So I asked my husband.  Now I am sure I could have hired a much better Virtual Assistant but seeing as my budget to pay someone is $0 I figured he was the man for the job! 

It's been incredible working side by side on this job and dream and gift with him.  He pushes me out of my comfort zone in terms of ideas and collaborations and trusts my God given gifts to stand on their own. 

That being said we don't fully feel like we are where we want to be, but we are trying!  One of the things Nick was so surprised by was how low my readership is.  Try as I might it just feels like something is missing that I am missing so we all are missing.  Did ya get all that?

And that's where all of this behind stuff comes into helping me.  By reading all of these behind the scene and background details I am hoping you can help me step into the future with my blog! 

Legit talking now, here's what I'm struggling with:  Laying it all out on the line I feel like I write well and have good ideas and lots to share but my following and readership just doesn't jive with that.  Meaning I am not having nearly as many people reading my work and coming back as I would hope or expect. 

So...

This is my Grown-Up Christmas Wish:

Well it's kind of two-fold. 

Here's what I would really like for you to do:

1) Please give me honest comments about my site. 

Rip me apart.  What do you like about my site?  What do you hate?  Tell me what needs changed.  Everything you say, be it hearts and stars or harsh will be seen with love and appreciation.  I want to know what is keeping people away and those who stay, I want to know what they are liking.

and...

2) Please follow and/or share my blog, Pinterest, Instagram, Facebook, whatever! 

The higher my readership numbers, the better I am able to serve you with fun things like giveaways, reviews, and other things!  I really want to help other Momma's to be the best they can be!  Also when my numbers go up then I know that I am not just writing and hearing nothing but crickets back.  Ugh, that's always the worst!  Anytime you can tell your friends about my site in any form I would really, really appreciate it! 

So those are the two things I would really love as my Grown-Up Christmas Wishes! 

Please comment below on this blog to tell me what to change, what to keep, and everything in between! 

For all of you who read this, I am so genuinely thankful...thankful for you, your voice, your friendship, and your faithfulness. 

Thanks again friends, be blessed!

I am Tweaking the Direction of this Website

Alright I'm just going to get right to the point:

I've been kind of hating this blog. 

At first I set out to blog to chronical my kiddos. 

Loved it. 

This blog then provided me with basically a resume that a major newspaper picked me up and I wrote for them. 

Still loved it. 

I even went on to several magazines who saw my tone and insight as something unique and special. 

Loved that.

Then Cal was diagnosed with Autism and while my first purpose remained I got so much feedback when I blogged about my feelings and emotions about everything that I felt really inspired.  I wanted to share with other moms and to be help along the way in their journeys with autism. 

Loved that.

Along the way though I got the idea to blog for money. So I got off of blogger.  I had this pafe designed.  I started to look cool. 

And that's when I started to love it all a bit less.  I convinced myself that it was just because it was a different platform and because it was all so new. 

I researched everything and started blogging what I thought y'all would want to read rather than what I wanted to write about.

And so that made me like it less.

I got into some business agreements.  I had a commitment.  And with commitment comes a promise to write even when I can't find the words. 

And that's when I started to like all of this a lot less. 

And so I've kind of stepped away from it all.  I've been thinking if I wanted to write at all or if I just wanted to scrap it. 

But what I come back to time and time again is that I love writing about our life here for family and friends to read who live a ways away. 

And I like to write about homeschooling.  It seems like when I do that and I am showing you what we are doing that it helps to keep me accountable and to keep homeschooling cool for the kids so I can help all of you with your homeschool journeys.  I like to share. I'm a sharer. 

So in taking a break I've decided that this blog will be more homeschool oriented.  That may be a bleh or a yeah for you depending on who you are.  I'm still planning on sharing cool stuff to do with your kids and about our lives. 

But I wanted to be open about this all.  I am changing the game, I am going back to my roots and I am blogging about what is keeping ME Super Busy at Home. 

I hope you'll stick around for the journey.  It's all so much fun. 

Love to you all!

When the Fun Starts Feeling Like a Job...

Again, life happens and I haven't been on here much.  I'm so lame.  

But more than that the transition to this new blog has left me feeling like this just wasn't fun anymore.  

Which just shouldn't be true.  

I love to write.  I was the girl who would ask to stay in from recess to write.  The girl who went to her diary first to scribble through tears.  I was born to write. 

So boo to this feeling like a job because this should be fun.  The reason I started this blog (in case you were wondering) is to keep a record of our family for me and for the kiddos to read when they are all grown up. 

And it is so edifying!  Recently my cousin who is also the web designer was able to transfer ALL of my old blog posts onto this site.  It was so fun to read through and see how God has moved in our lives. For example...

When Calvin was a year and a half old Nick lost his job.  It was horrible.  Joy sucking bad.  And the kids were young enough that we made a vow about (or at least figured we'd take a stab at) them not even knowing what was going on.  We didn't want anything to change for them.  So Nick stayed home but Emma still went to preschool and we still had Christmas and we muddled through. 

At least I thought we muddled through.  But looking back through those blog posts helped me to see how awesome we were doing.  We had apples to pick and pumpkins to carve along with picnics to celebrate with and "happy pumpkin carving" decorated cakes to enjoy.  We weren't starving, or scared in the pictures.  We were happy and laughing and enjoying watching how our babies were growing.  And so I have this blog to celebrate how far we've come and how much God can carry us through.  We are better, we are stronger, we are here.  And this blog can be a testament to that.  

And while that was why I started writing this blog I have continued writing this blog because I have had countless parents tell me through so many different avenues that our transparency in the struggles of homeschooling and autism and marriage and everything else is so nice to see.  Because when you are in the trenches it is so nice to sometimes hear someone else saying "geesh, this is just the worst."  Because sometimes it is.  And sometimes it's the best.  And I'll say that too.   

So I'm getting back into blogging.  Nick's head has hurt, our son has been crazy, I've been marketing a sale, organizing curriculum, planning a school year, and cleaning a house.  But mostly I've been with two little guys trying to find fun things to do as we celebrate the end of the summer and the welcoming of Autumn.  

May you find the joy in that too.