Lights Out

So weirdest thing ever happened. Friday night we went out to eat with 3 other couples. We got to the restaurant and were having a great time. It sounded like it was raining but no big deal. We asked for boxes and checks and the lights go out. Uh-oh. So miraculously the restaurant let us all just go and dinner was on them! I feel bad for them but evidently they had no way of handwriting out a check???

So on our way home we noticed that things didn't look so good. Trees were down everywhere. There were trees on houses. It was scary. My mom was watching our kids so we were anxious to get home. There was an art fair going on in our neighborhood park and some of those poor people's tents and art were completely destroyed. Thank the Lord our home was okay. We had some very sizeable branches fall and the electricity was out but other than that no damage.

We were having everyone over for dessert (I made creme brulee and chocolate cake) so everyone was awesome and came and hung out in the dark. It was fun.

What was not so fun was the fact that our power was out...really, really out. The days were the thing we worried about as it was supposed to be 90 degrees every day so we stayed out of the house during the day. The nights were fine with the windows open and the candles going.

Everyone kept offering for us to stay with them and while we really, really appreciated it, we didn't need it. I am not a wuss. :) We had hot/cold water and a stove (thank the Lord for gas powered appliances).

It sounds really stupid but I liked having the power out. During the day we made sure to stay busy and we were all together. It brought our family together. At night after we got the kids to bed Nick and I sat on the couch and had nothing to do but talk. It was amazing. We talked and laughed so much and I just really relished it. We fell asleep on that couch every night and every night he would wake me up at about 2 in the morning and we would go upstairs to bed. It was just fun and simple.

The night we got power on (late, late Sunday night) we kept seeing the electric company trucks drive by so we knew it was coming soon! They cut everyone's power and it was so, so dark! Please let me explain that up to this point everyone on our street on the OTHER side of the street had power, snickering at us with their airconditioning and working washing machines! So when they cut their power too it was super, super dark which is pretty creepy when your houses are so close together. We could hear people everywhere but couldn't see them.

Half an hour into not having power a guy across the street was out on his porch singing the "ain't got no power blues" to which I wanted to throw something at him (especially as he wouldn't have been able to see it was me!). The people across the street were without power for about an hour while we were without power for 3 days!

In that time I need to thank our inlaws who were rockstars offering their house to us and allowing our food to stay with them for a while. We would have been out hundreds of dollars of food if we couldn't have taken everything down there.

I'd also like to thank my Grandma who had us over and entertained the kids while we were trying to find fun things to do.

It amazes me how spoiled we are with power...my Aunt Jan is definitely right! I love air conditioning and my dishwasher and my washing machine. Ah, and not reading by candle light. Yikes that hurts my eyes.

Hooray for God and for power!

That Devil

This week I spoke with my editor and brought up the idea of writing Cal's story out for everyone. She loved it and we are going to be splitting it up into a series. I started it Monday night when Nick was in bed. Tuesday morning I woke up in the worst mood imaginable. Tuesday thankfully Nick's mom was set to take the kids so I went back to working on it and it just sucked the life out of me. I have no explanation for this other than that sneaky devil. I know it sounds weird saying this but I really think he was attacking me. It must sound like I was just having an off day or was in a bad mood but I have NEVER felt like this. Even talking to Nick and trying to explain it to him that day I couldn't find the words. It was as if I was having the biggest pity party for Cal and was terrified about him and what was going to become of him, which is weird because you've read my previous blogs about how hopeful we are. I also physically felt like I was having a panic attack...all day long. I couldn't breathe. I was finding myself freaking out about things like "oh my gosh! I have this laundry to put away!!!" I was also having a terrible attitude about people in our lives. There are some people who we don't agree with their lifestyle or get a long with but for some reason geesh they were just on my mind and it was DRIVING me crazy. I logically was thinking, we hardly know these people, we almost never talk to them, they are secondary or third string people in our lives, they don't matter. Its not my business. But ten minutes later I would be seething. Weird I know.

All of this sounds like gibberish but here is what I know: I have a ton written and I haven't even gotten to the part with Cal's first evaluation. Plus this is the dumbed down version that is long, it doesn't have anything about our faith or my passionate love for Nick.

I guess all of this leaves me with wondering if I should write a book. We know that God doesn't do things without having a purpose. The purpose of Cal having apraxia might be to stand as an example of God's healing power and Majesty. I don't know, maybe nothing will happen but I feel as though I was being attacked by Satan when I sat down to write.

So please be praying for me. I haven't written anymore because honestly it sucked the life out of me. I need strength to get through this. We've had a ton of response from local moms anytime I've mentioned apraxia so I am confident my story could really help someone. I know how frustrated I was when I started researching that I couldn't find much first hand information. Grrr.


In other news I spoke with Cal's therapy coordinator and she thinks that she can set him up with a nutritionist. I am hoping that they can maybe check for any deficiencies that may be hindering his speech. Although he is advancing our therapist yesterday said that he is at about a year level of talking...yeehaw he's a year and a half delayed. Good and bad. I know, I know keep your chin up., It could be worse. I go in every night and watch Cal sleep and I thank God that he can talk to me and that he can say those words I never thought I would ever hear: "Love ya". :)

Today...

I broke in my new stockpot...ain't she a beaut? I love it! And I love my Mother in Law who gave me the said pot I love....ahhh, she's so sweet :)

And this is my hairbow Imade tonight...what do you think? Okay I would just like to say I think I did okay with this one...it looks like the one I bought from the store for Emma. These hairbows sell for $8.00 in the store!!! I bought a bag of 5 hair clips for $1.00 and a roll of ribbon for $2.00. Hmmm...so if I made 5 hair bows for $3.00 and sold them each at $8.00 then I would have a profit of $37.00. Geesh, maybe I should get better at making these bows :)

Happy Wednesday evening to you!

Sobbing With Thanks

Today I just started reading "Louder Than Words" by Jenny McCarthy. Have you read this? I am in the first chapter and had to stop because I was crying so hard. Her experience with her son's seizure was so much the same as mine...the feeling helpless, the feeling of your son being ripped away from you. The experience of begging God to take your life so your son can live. The fear of not knowing if your son would ever wake up. How she described the seizure too was painfully similar: the goneness of his soul, the gasping for breath like a fish out of water, the whispering to him that mama's here, mama's here. Watching the minutes pass and thinking "seizures don't last this long". All of it just ripped at my heart and although I could stop reading I couldn't stop sobbing.

You see, now we are on the opposite side of it. Calvin is healthy and thriving, and mine. All I could do is lift my hands in my dressing room and thank God for his mercies. Feeling those raw emotions again in the midst of Calvin growing and maturing was awe-inspiring. It was like God gave me his scrapbook and said "look at what I have accomplished with him". Amazing.

I just checked on Calvin tonight and he was sleeping so peacefully. Again I found myself sobbing with gratitude to God. Two months ago I didn't know what was wrong with Cal...ever. I never knew what if he was hot or cold, in pain or uncomfortable. Nothing. His words changed everyday so his word for milk could me something different every single day. It left him completely frustrated and it left me feeling like such a complete failure as a mother..."what kind of mother can't help her child?" This evening he bumped his head and was able to come to me and point to his head and say "boo boo, mama, (kiss noise)". How unfathomably awesome that he can tell me he needs me to kiss his booboo.

I know this sounds simple but watching him starting to emerge and be silly and kind is something that is just amazing to me and is such a priceless gift from God. Its as if his personality has been covered with a giant piece of swiss cheese. Sometimes I can peek through a little mousey hole and see his silliness and kindness, but most of the time its masked with this stinky cheese layer of not being able to communicate.

I know that all things are from God and all of this is God inspired and made. Our new therapist said that Calvin was healed and I believe that with all of my being. With two different therapists from two different institutes diagnosing him with severe apraixia I know it wasn't a mis-diagnosis. I know that God heard all of our prayers and has been massaging his little mind to get those neuro pathways carved out. I can't thank you enough for your prayers and support.

Here's to what God holds in our future. :)

Whee!

I don't really KNOW what we have been doing these past few weeks, but whew, we have been busy! I thought I would recap here. First of all let me tell you that we are loving the summer! I have been making peach pies and distributing them around the neighborhood. The mayor's wife says I have a pie ministry going on. :)

Tonight Nick gave the kids Toy Stors 2 to watch while he was at work...they don't look excited or anything do they? Have I mentioned that we l.o.v.e. Toy Story? We basically are consumed. But it is cute so I love it!

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Yesterday we went to Chicago for a free Museum day at the Museum of Science and Industry. Since I am a stay at home mom I am considering it my "job" to snag the best deals for our family and make our money stretch the most that it can. Free days at places are a wonderful way as our kids get to still experience things and saves us a boatload of cash. By going on the free day we saved $40.00...score! Here are some pics from our trip:

We sneak-attacked her with kisses...she looks thrilled, right?

Cal was super excited about the locomotive you could go inside of. Em could have cared less so I stayed out with her but I would have loved to go in it too. Whenever Cal is excited about a train I instantly think of my Grandpa and how much he would have loved taking him to train museums and things. I know my Grandpa must be looking down proudly and someday in heaven I'm sure they'll be checking out trains together :)

There was a Navy exhibit so here is Nick practicing his salute to make sure its smart and snappy like the sign said...in a pink shirt by the way.

Yeah you know you love us in the clown costumes, don't lie ;)

Here they are being cute. Cal has entered the awkward smile phase of life...lets hope its just a phase at least. I think these two are just adorable

All in all we had a wonderful time. We went out to eat for pizza, stopped at Trader Joes (because they suck and refuse to put one in our area, Hmmmph!) and on the way home we stopped at a Candy Factory we had heard about. The kids loved it!

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In other news the other day I came outside to the kids and this is how I found Cal. Now if this doesn't make you laugh then you must not have a soul. Cal ditches his pants all of the time so that was no surprise but the no pants/girls bike helmet was just irresistable...can't wait to show this to a girlfriend down the road, ha!

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And Introducing:

The

New

COUCH!

I'm not excited or anything :)

What do you think and please give me your honest opinion. It has been a little bit of an adjustment because it is quite big. To tell the whole truth it is sticking out a little farther than I would like but that is because the table behind it is too deep. Once we find a new table we like then it will be okay. I just have to keep telling myself that.

For those of you who have never had the "pleasure" of seeing our old couch it was just so gross. We bought it when we first were married. Which was in college. It was denim. That should be enough said :)

Confession time here is that I called Goodwill and THEY weren't going to take it because it was too, well, gross. I held my head in shame and basically gave a sales pitch to the two gentlemen (term being used lightly here) picking the thing up. They took it, I'm embarrassed but denim-couchless.

ALSO....

This was our old grill...isn't it gross? First of all the ignitor doesn't work. We don't even have the button in hopes that it would work. The handle is missing so no your eyes aren't deceiving you that is in fact Nick holding the grill open with a pair of pliers. So a new grill was needed, so....

ta-da! Happy Father's Day and Birthday all rolled into one Brinkmann goodie package. He seems to be a very happy man. We broke the sucker in the other night with little packs of green beans, some fingerling potatoes and t-bone steak. It did a very nice job :)

I think that is it for now. Have a great weekend!

Spite

Today was such a doozy of a day with Mr. Calvin. Oh boy that boy is such a boy. It is just unbelievable. Two days ago I told Cal to go wash his hands and a few minutes later I heard water hitting the floor. He evidently found it appopriate to fill one of his galoshes with water and dump it on the floor. So he had been disciplined for that and I thought we had an understanding that we don't dump water on the floor.


That is until this morning when he was washing his hands and yet again I hear water falling. He found that if you turn the water up really hard and have it bounce off your arm it will spray all over the floor. Fun, right?


So again he got into trouble. We had a lot of discussion about how to wash your hands. So at dinner time he washed his hands properly and I cheered. When I was clearing the dishes I heard him quickly wash his hands and I cheered from the kitchen. Then I went into the living room and found that he had soaked the hand towel and was walking around with it dripping from the air. All I could say was "why are you doing this???" and all he had to say was "I don't know."


Errr this kid frustrates me. I thought it was over when I put him to bed. He has been crying at night so it was no surprise when he started up. But he kept crying. And screaming. So I went up there and what did I find? Not only had he taken his diaper off but he also decided to empty the entire contents of his bladder all over everything...ugh.


I am so frustrated with him and at the same time I am somewhat in awe of how much of a typical boy he really is. I am trying not to but I am wondering if this is spite coming out. You know maybe he thinks, well you yell at me I'm going to drag this cloth all over the house because she didn't tell me not to do this. And well you won't get me out of bed so I'll just pee all over everything and then you'll have to get me out of bed. I know that's terrible for me to think as a mother but there are times I just can't come up with any other reasons why he would be doing all of this.

Its Come Back to Bite Me...

First of all I must say that I love Nicholas more than anything. I always pick on him in fun and love. That being said I always tease Nicholas. I find myself saying things like "Ooh look at me, I'm Nicholas. I think I'm sooo cool. I am just the cutest man ever." Of course I am just picking on him and of course I really do think he is cool and cute.


A couple of days ago Nicholas was watching Food Network when the children came down from nap. They wanted to watch Caillou and Nick told them that he would change it in a few minutes when his program was over. I said my usual spastic comment about reminding him to make sure the commercials are appropriate (seriously, commercials are getting C.R.A.Z.Y!!!)

Anyway I was in the other room and we hear this from Emma "ooh look at me I'm Nicholas. I don't let my children watch Caillou so I can sit and watch commercials. I'm Daddy, I like watching inappropriate commercials." Nick and I could do nothing but laugh. Nick was crying, he was laughing so hard.


Needless to say I've stopped chiding him :)

Memorial Day Saturday...

Birthday Fun



Today is my Grandma Jean's birthday so we all met at a local cafe for lunch. She was tickled and it was a nice time getting together. Here are some pics from that:

Here's my cousin Jaime and her boyfriend Tim

Here is my baby seester Kelsey and Emma...they are best buds :)

Here is my Uncle Doug and our little Birthday girl!

The Zoo!

This morning I took the kids to the zoo. We are members so we can go in 2 hours before it opens to the public to see them feed the animals. Emma decided to sleep in (thank you Lord!) so we made it a little later. We did get to see the alligators eating which was fun. In general all the animals are a little rowdier than during the day because it is just the start of the day and it isn't so hot.

Here are a couple of pictures of the kids on the turtle statue...I think I like the second one better :)

This is a picture of the tiger. It was so cute because it was kind of playing in the water and then I guess it decided it was tired because it just came over in front of the kids and rested its head on a ledge in front of the glass. His breath was fogging up the glass. The kids just loved this moment.

"Driving Around in my Automobile..."

I love these pictures of the children. Its so funny what they went for too. Cal was steering the car while as soon as Em got in she pushed every button imaginable. So funny, these two are, I could just eat them up.

All About Ems

Today was Emma's last day of preschool and I simply cannot believe that the time is already here! I love that they are so excited for the summer. It makes me feel like a little kid and we have already been brainstorming a few ideas, including:
Going to the beach lots
Visiting the different zoos in the area
Visiting a couple different museums in Chicago and Detroit that have free days coming up
Running through the sprinkler
Eating lots of popsicles
and lastly having lots of family time and fun!


After preschool we all picked Emma up then got some happy meals for a picnic at the park. The kids were ecstatic. We then got to play at the new playground and they always have such a ball there.

I thought I would share some other things about Emma now:

I am trying to get her off the potty chair and onto a regular toilet. It is such a habit for her...she looks funny sitting on the little potty chair with her long legs, she reminds me of a frog.

She took her kitty cat to school today for show and tell. Its name is Phildore, and before you ask please just let me tell you that we have no idea where she got that name from. She just looked at it and said she was going to name is Phildore. And if you ask her what its name is this is what she'll say: say phil (and you'll say phil) now say door (and you'll say door) see, its name is phildore. Ha! Someone is very good at helping their brother talk.

Emma has no idea but we took her to the dentist and she has to have that flappy under her tongue cut off...you know the one that attaches your tongue to your mouth. That's going to be a nice day, right? ha! I have to work up the nerve to schedule that appointment sometime this summer while she is off. They say it doesn't hurt THAT bad which I believe...I am just worried about them getting to her. This is the girl they had to wrap bodycast style on a stretcher to take her stitches off. Good luck with this one dentist.

Emma is loving being a little girl. I often time find her in her room strutting around with big play earrings on with a purse full of money and huge high heels on. She likes to tip me for things. So when I do her hair she gives me a quarter, you know because I am her stylist apparently. She is so funny.

I love her, she is so cute and funny. She always says the funniest things and I can't wait to have this summer to spend with her. :)

Me and Summer...of sorry, Summer and Me

I am 28 years old now. That is close to 30, in case you were wondering. I have always heard that when you turn 30 you begin to have the better version of yourself emerge...the self that doesn't care so much what other people think, the person who is braver and willing to try new things because you realize life is 33% over. I think I am beginning to understand that part of turning 30.


You see, Summer and I have never really gotten along. It has never been my favorite season. When I was a kid it was always so stinking hot and we didn't have air conditioning. When I was a teenager summer meant having to have a job and again, be hot. When I was in college summer meant being apart from Nicholas, which was gut wrenching in itself but also meant that I was either in classes ALL day long or working. After college and since having kids it has meant heat, slathering bug spray and sunblock on four bodies everytime we are outside and giving bath after bath.


Well that all ended this year.


This year I am not going to be hot in a long sleeved shirt because I don't like my flabby arms. I would rather be in a tank top disgusting all of you and be happy then be hot and cross with my children because of it. This year I will embrace the popsicle sticky hands around my neck and the tummies with blue popsicle juice dripping down them. The dirtier the children are the happier they are and the more fun they must have had. This year I am going to be spontaneous. Dips in the pool, playing outside, garage saling, going to the beach, all will be done on a whim, not with intensive planning and devising and list making (by lists I am speaking of going to the beach, not going outside, ha!).


I want to be the fun mom. The mom who stops everything to eat zerbert on the front porch instead of hurrying to get the to-do list completed. My kids will remember having fun, not that I made them change into the perfect outfit or packed everything before rushing off to have an adventure.


So I am looking forward to this summer. On my front door I have an uppercase living saying that says "Summer is the season of life" and this year it really does feel that way because I feel God has given me a new perspective and a new look on life.

Boots :)

This picture was from a couple of weeks ago but I just love it and totally forgot to post it. Calvin loves his boots and Emma is showing off her boots that she got for her Birthday. So now we are boot partners in crime. When Nicholas was a little boy he had boots that were way too big for him that he evidently refused to take off and would wear all of the time. I just think they are so cute how they are following in their Daddy's footsteps.


Today was a wonderful day. We had a lovely visit with our neighbors during the afternoon while the kids were swimming. Then after naptime we went to get a pizza (love when the hubs gives me the green light to not cook!) and came home and dined on the patio (still don't have pics, I know I am completely a loser!) After that we got some work done in the yard and then we went to meet our neighborhood garden lady. We bought a plot in the community garden for a vegetable garden and I am super excited! I love our yard but it is super shady and let's face it...kind of small. So we are hoping this will mean that we will actually get some produce because we've tried before and got nothing out of our garden.


When we got home from that we all indulged and had Raspberry sherbert outside on the front porch. It was one of those priceless family memories I will always remember. Calvin kept picking up in his hands. When Nick asked if a spoon just wasn't worth the trouble Cal said "yeah". He was COVERED in pink stickiness. Emma calls sherbert zerrrberrrts. So when Nick would hear her say she wanted zerberts he would zerbert her which I loved.


So it was a good day. Tomorrow morning I am taking the two kids to meet the preschool class for a trip to the zoo and playground. Hopefully I won't be the mom who loses her kids...I hate when they outnumber me!

Hanging Out Poolside

We decided that with the high temperatures and humidity levels starting that we were going to need a pool. We found this huge pool at Christmas Tree Shop for only $16.99! Wowwie! Okay it isn't gigantic or anything but for the two kids it is plenty big enough. They were in the pool three times today and it was just the first day! They just love it! The water really feeds into Calvin's evil plans to annoy Emma beyond belief. As you can see they are super cute in the water and I even let them enjoy popsicles in there. Yeah, that's right I am one cool mom.

Tonight was Emma's last Gymnastics class which was kind of sad but geez oh pete I am so excited I don't have to take those kids anywhere for the whole summer after this week! Hooray! Not that they are involved in so, so much or anything like that but it will be nice to have a practically clear schedule to say, go to the beach, or a museum, or the waterpark, or, or, or...as you can see I have some big plans for these kids.

I started casually chatting with Cal's therapist about him not listening. I have always figured it was a stubborn mule of a man thing...after all I have to tell Nick to do things three times so why would his son be any different? Turns out it could be something bigger. The therapist seemed to be really concerned about the part that I can't let Cal walk with me or go anywhere unless he is strapped in as he just won't stop. Even when I am screaming and scared or mad, the kid won't stop. I guess the fact that there might be something that can be done to help the situation seems amazing to me as that has just been the way of life around here.

Emma said the funniest thing tonight. Tonight Cal said "no me, no me" about something and she said "no Cal, we don't use rhyming words towards people that we love." I just laughed. I won't tell her that he didn't rhyme, he repeated, and man, oh man, she could really set some rappers straight, am I right?

So that was our day. Hope you are enjoying your week!

Tuckered Out

I had to share this photo with you because it is so stinking cute! As I mentioned Cal loves, LOVES Toy Story right now, especially Buzz Lightyear. We got this book from the library and its kind of a dictionary of the movies, but anyway, he makes me read from it every night (only the pages that have Buzz on them) and then he begs me to leave his light on so he can look at the book until he falls asleep. I went in to turn off his light last night and this was what I found. Isn't he just too precious? Not only the book but I also love that his Buzz Lightyear figure (that we can't go anywhere without and I spend who knows how many minutes searching for each day) is jammed under his head and shoulder. He doesn't mind. As you can see he has also stopped clinging to the side of his bed (all of the time!) in hopes that he won't fall out of bed. He just makes me smile.


Today is hot! We went for a family walk to the park and fed the baby ducks. The kids loved it. Then we came back and played in the sprinklers. I was hoping to have some cute shots to show but Cal seemingly hates the water so no pictures were had...I ended up trying to coax him in the whole time.

Happy Monday!

The Weekend

Here are the kids. This weekend we went to Nick's Grandma's house for a belated Mother's Day celebration. She lives on a lake so the kids did a lot of fishing and we went for a boat ride which the children just relished! Above is a picture of the kids walking to the shore together...aren't they just so cute together?

Here's Cal ready for anything

Here's Emma playing with plastic worms or "nightcrawlers" as she would be sure to correct you with if you called them worms.

My whole purpose in life all snug on a couch...

And here I am with curly hair. You'll have to let me know what you think. With how humid its been it has been a beast to straighten it so I thought to heck with it, we are going au naturale. I think I like it and I think its cute. More importantly as I near 30 I am beginning to not care if anyone else likes it or not (aside from Nick :) ). Hope you all had a wonderful weekend as well!