Breaking Out of the House

With all of this warm weather God has blessed us with we've been able to venture outside and make some WONDERFUL memories. I feel like the luckiest girl with Nick beside me pulling a wagon full of lovely children and the sun shining on us while I walk Lucy.

This was a picture of the children during their first ride in their new wagon! This was a Christmas gift from Auntie Bean and Uncle Mark and boy howdy do they love this thing! It is also super easy to pull! Everyone stopped us to comment on how cute Emma was with her bow and how cute Cal was in a Batman costume. Aren't they too cute? You can see they were having a great time!

Calvin painting

Emma painting too...it was a BIT too cold for flippies :)

These pictures are of the children playing with their new chalk painting set...it was a Birthday gift for Cal and they have been itching to use it since they got it. They had a great time playing with it. It was fun to see them working together to paint. They also had a big bucket of sidewalk chalk that hadn't even been opened from last year! Woohoo!!! Hopefully that will last us all summer.

We are really looking forward to playing outside this summer. Our grass died, caput, this past year so we are going to have to plant new. But once it comes up I am sure that we will have a wonderful time. We are going to be completing our landscaping plans for our yard to allow for extra room for the children and Lucy to run around. We are probably about half way there.

Last year Nick transplanted a ton of our boxwoods and got rid of a whole row of landscaping for new grass. He also laid down our new patio out back and built a jeep garage for the children's planes, trains, and automobiles! This year we are going to do away with some more of our landscaping to maximize our yard for grass and a dog.

Once the grass has grown we are going to see what space we have to plan out where a sandbox can go and maybe even a playground! I am super excited to see what Nick has in store for us...he lets me pick out the plants and he designs the space.

A Little Bit of Everything

So here it is 11:30 at night and I am still awake. Errr. Nick has been working nights and lets just say it has been a little difficult. I absolutely cannot sleep when he is not around. He's my big strong protector, and my snuggler. I feel so lonely when he is not around. So here I am awake and probably will be through the wee hours of the night. This too shall pass, right?

Anyway a lot has been going on around here and since I am up and bored I thought I might share it with you:

Emma
Emma starts soccer next week and has about two more weeks of Gymnastics. She LOVES gymnastics (which is a hard word for me to spell for some reason!). She is thin and petite and can do things on her own that even the 4-year olds can't do yet. I think we might have found something that she is going to stick with and be really good at. Every time she gets ready to do something she belts out towards the teacher "I can do this on my own!" its pretty hilarious.

Emma's behavior is like a bi-polar teenager who is off their meds. I swear, its crazy sometimes. I have been trying to give her lots of love and extra attention. It seems to be working and she has calmed down. I don't know what it is but the smallest things can set her off. When she is not being "set off" she is so helpful with Calvin and just an all around sweetheart.

She also has such an imagination! During quiet time this afternoon her and Baby Grace built a machine that would fill baskets with fruit so they don't have to do it themselves...apparently she's been a sweat shop worker up to this point, so thank the Lord for that machine!

School wise Emma has knocked our socks off. She is basically one of the smartest kids in her class. She knows her address, can write her name, and knows all of her upper and lower case letters. She is also spelling words to us and telling us out of the blue things like "Elephant starts with E" which upon asking the teachers they have NOT been teaching, she is just picking this stuff up on her own! *proud Mommy here*

Calvin
Well I have gotten to the point where I am not crying everyday about Calvin's Apraxia. Praise the Lord He has helped me through that storm. It really was a storm of self pity and blaming myself. A lot of friends and reading have helped me to see that nothing I could have done could have prevented this and God gave us this challenge for a reason.

Calvin is so incredibly happy, when I am having a crappy day his smile really changes my mood. We've had two therapists both comment that he is going to get through this okay because he is happy. He really does seem to have the joy of the Lord!

Therapy wise I can barely keep anything straight! We've had two evaluations with Occupational Therapists (dealing with how he moves his body) and they both found problems that need addressed. So we are working on an at-home therapy program being set up. They are thinking that his disawareness of how his body moves (imagine your whole body feeling like it fell asleep) may be what is also causing some of the apraxia. So we will see if speech improves as his physical movement improves. He also has been really, really hurting me. Just me for some reason. He especially likes to bite me and try to strangle me (yes I did say he has the joy of the Lord). The occupational therapist said he has a problem with knowing how hard he is doing things so he probably isn't even trying to kill me. :) Speech wise we still aren't getting there. We only have our therapist until he's 3 and then we are left to pay out of pocket $300.00/hour. We are starting a more aggressive approach (meaning we are paying out the ear for therapy tools to use) so hopefully that will work. Please keep us in your prayers as we monetarily do whatever is necessary to get this kid to talk). We are also facing the option that if he doesn't talk it is going to be best to homeschool him. I just don't feel ready or capable to do that but I know if that is what God wants us to do I will do it.

Calvin has learned his colors! And almost has opposites down. He's got in and out, up and down. He is really improving on his signs. He is TRYING to say things but if you babysat him you would have no idea what he is saying Aaagaaa is Lightyear for example.

Calvin is starting to potty train. Lately he has been telling me all of the time he has to go potty just to shoot right back up and demand M&M's...his reward for telling me he has to go. Fail.

Calvin's eczema has been SUPER bad the last couple of weeks. A few nights ago I was up all night with him while he was trying to scrape his skin off. Hopefully with new medication we will be on the mend but it has been a rough patch...ha, get it!

Calvin is in swim lessons (remember the choking he likes to do? 10x worse when we hit water...he HATES water! However the last two weeks we have not been because the chlorine aggravates his skin.

Nick
Nick works. Eats. Sleeps. and then works some more. Poor guy. I can't tell you how grateful we are to that man that he is providing so well for us. Just the fact that I would be able to stay home with the children is something I never, NEVER would have considered as a possibility 6 months ago.

Lindsay
I am home with the kids and am not getting NEARLY as much done around the house as I had hoped. I just keep thinking of that saying about how housework can wait because babies grow up far too quickly...

I am hoping to start taking more pictures of what we have been up to in the everyday. If it doesn't get recorded anywhere else, at least it will be in this blog, right?

I am freelance writing which I thought would just be something I would do here and there but I have had three stories assigned to me and I have been out of work for a month! I feel truly blessed for what God has done.

Typing that I have been out of work for a month just brought around the reality that I have been out of work for only a month...holy cow, how did that happen? It feels like it has been six months...who says staying at home is easy? ;)

I am really trying to read my body and let God guide all of our decisions. I have such a desire for a marriage and a family that is solely dependent on God. I feel so blessed for a Christian husband who is helping me every day to teach our children about the Love of Christ.

So...what have you been up to?

Getting Organized

I've been reading the book shown above and it has really inspired to me to get organized. It put the idea in my head that just because your house is tidy doesn't mean it is organized. That is sooo true! Every single day of my life I struggle with not being able to find something or feeling frustrated that I can not get something done as timely as I would like. Don't get me wrong, I am somewhat organized for those of you who know me. I have the childrens toys organized in bins, I keep my table linens in an organized basket. But things that I deal with every day...the children's diaper bag, my closet, the kitchen, and the children's rooms those things that I have a hard time finding things and feeling on top of things. So I am going to try to become more organized. Hopefully in doing that our home will run more efficiently...hooray! I will let you know my progress as the days go on...I am so excited! :)

Makes You Stop in your tracks

There was a girl I played volleyball with that when Nick and I were dating found out that he had taken her to prom (weird right?). Anyway today I found out that she has just lost her 9 month old baby to SIDS. Reading that my eyes welled up and I couldn't breathe. Could you imagine losing your child? Your little baby who means so much to you? It made me squeeze Emma and Calvin harder and it made me want to never let them go.

Tonight I pray for her and her family. How horrid and tragic. Please pray for her and her family as well.

A Rainy Saturday

Today has been a completely rainy day. We had to skip the zoo because of it but were still able to make it to the library and to the Farmer's Market. We also have had a lot of time for cuddling and napping around here. Oh God, thank you for our little family!

Tonight my sisters are coming over to watch the children so Nick and I can go on a date. We have been married for close to 7 years now and I still get giddy when we go on a date. I take forever getting ready, I don't know what to wear. Patiently he waits, even though he's seen me all day and knows everything in my wardrobe. Still, he waits. He makes me laugh. I ask him to explain the homeowners policy to me one more time. We order. We laugh some more. I inevitably will get sauce on my face, he'll wipe it off. We laugh some more. We hold hands out to the parking lot. He will open my door for me (making up for our first date when he did NOT open my door, surely!), and we will laugh.

A lifetime of laughing, loving, and being with this man will be in my heart when I get to heaven. I rejoice in knowing we will be together for all eternity...our little family.

Happy RainyvSaturday to you!

I'll be around

There's been drama around here lately, sorry I haven't written lately. My heart just isn't in it as of yet. I will write soon, promise. Our little family is splendid. Calvin is talking more and more which is just amazing to experience! Emma is growing and is hilarious. Outsiders however have dragged a bunch of silliness into our lives. We are sorting how to deal with things appropriately. Thanks for your support! Love you all! :)

The Art Institute

Emma and Baby Grace...isn't she an adorable Momma?

Thoroughly enjoying smores!

Emma and I making smores...somehow we slaved away while the boys enjoyed the fruits of our labor...teehee!

I think he has too many marshmallows in that cute mouth

My cuties in the museum

Here we are!

Daddy and Emma

Today we visited the Art Institute and had such a wonderful time! We truly are blessed by our family and we always have such a great time together. It amazes me how funny our children are. We have such well behaved children, it always amazes me!

We also ate at a restaurant which served smores you could make at the table and had a great time! Afterwards we did a bit of shopping where Emma took Baby Grace with her...so cute!

All in all it was a wonderful day of beginning cultural experiences for the children. While at the museum we discussed which colors make us feel happy and the textures of the paintings...how Vangogh used a skinny brush and monet used a lot of oil paint and it looks very chunky...who knows if they wull ever use this info but at least I will know it is in their cute little brains somewhere!

Where the Heck is the Other Shoe?

Do you do this? Do you just wait for the other shoe to drop so to speak? I have a problem with being conststantly anxious. I know I have spoken about this before. But right now things are going really well. I KNOW God wants me home. Money keeps magically appearing. Things keep falling into place and every night when we kneel for prayer time I find myself in tears when thanking God for everything...seriously there is so much I don't even know what to say to the Big Guy. But in the back of my mind there is this part of me saying "enjoy it while it lasts..."

I guess my question is what the heck is up with that? I think it is a definite trust issue with God that I think "yeah things are great now but He can't possibly keep it up. I don't deserve THAT much." But here's the thing: I don't deserve one bit of it. Not one bit. Nothing. Nada. Zip. That is what Grace is all about. I screw up but somehow out of the ashes God picks me up, brushes me off and sends me back into the game...and He blesses me on top of forgiving me. Wow.

Does anyone else just kind of wait for things to go sour or am I the only one in the boat?

I ask this because I am still working on being super happy and joyful. And it is definitely working I must say. I don't feel so much like a maid anymore when I do things with a song in my step. Nicholas has definitely shown appreciation and randomly hugs me and thanks me for being me. I love that man so much!

Well goodnight!

The Real Me

Yep, this is me...LindsayAnn.

I'm a dork. Totally and unappreciated.

I am a constant worrier. If there is nothing to worry about I will make something up.

I've decided I do not like people who think they are better than me because they hit the gym more than me. All that means is you probably have some type of fungal problem on your hands.

I still wonder what in the world my husband sees in me.

I am striving to be joyful about everything and happy and fun...which in turn means I am no longer worrying.

I have the funniest children you've ever seen.

I love playing the Game of Life over and over and over and over

I will creep you on Facebook...just know it.

I make to-do lists of how to tackle my to-do list.

I love the Lord and am in complete awe, speechless, no words to make, about this fantastic life God has given me.

My one addiction...hazelnut coffee creamer.

Sushi is something I yanked my husband over into and I think he's loving it too. Banana Republic is what he got me hooked on...whose was more expensive?

Spring is for lovers...totally for us.

Enjoy Sunday...it is the LORDS DAY! :)

So...

What do you think of my new look? I guess I should say updated look. I LOVE my header of the mom doing everything because 1) I have a rob that exact color, and 2) that is just me, I don't know it just is. But I thought it was a little bland and I was just getting tired of it. I was looking for a background, fully aware that I was going to have to ditch my header in order to do that. But when I uploaded the new do I was pleasantly surprised that it let me keep my multiple personalities up top! The best of both worlds if you ask me! Hooray, I am one happy lady! :)

Nick Made My Life

Nick told me today to listen to this song because it was about me. As he put it "I was driving and heard this song and thought, Hey! This is about my Lindsay Ann". He is just so sweet and I guess I never even thought he thought of me when he heard a song. I just love him so much and listening to this song by Jack Johnson brought tears to my eyes that he feels so strongly about me. Ah, he really does still give me butterflies! Ah. Here is the song:

I've got an Angel
She doesn't wear any wings
She wears a heart that can melt my own
She wears a smile that can make me wanna sing
She gives me presents
With her presence alone
She gives me everything I could wish for
She gives me kisses on the lips just for coming home

She could make angels
I've seen it with my own eyes
You gotta be careful when you've got good love
Cause the angels will just keep on multiplying

But you're so busy changing the world
Just one smile can change all of mine
We share the same soul
We share the same soul

(I left out the ooh's, sorry Jack)

Friday

You know, when you don't work Friday's don't really feel like Fridays at all. I just left the supermarket and told the cashier to have a great weekend, only to find myself wondering...it is the weekend right? Is it only Tuesday? No we had two days of preschool so yes, yes it is Friday.

As I close out the first week of staying home I must say that I am having a great time...despite Emma's severe case of Seperation Anxiety, Calvin tipping his chair back and landing on the back of his head, and Nick's schedule getting all goofed up, I am having a wonderful time. I love knowing that I am getting things done and that I have plenty of time to put the mending aside and say, yes I will chase you around the house.

Also today Nick and I took Cal to Target to do some shopping while Emma was at Preschool. We loaded up on simple things we needed and Nick was all for getting the biggest container of toilet paper they make so I don't have to worry about it. As we were loading things in the car I got choked up for what must have been the millionth time.

Look at our lives! Look at our lives compared to two months ago! God has blessed us beyond measure. He has made all of my dreams come true, and oh my goodness, I just can't help but say, What A Mighty God We Serve! I fall on my knees, knowing that EVERYTHING we have comes from Him. And look at what He has chosen to give us.

Wow...

Our Day Yesterday

Yesterday we had a very nice day despite waking up at 4 am! I caught the children having quiet time together on the landing reading. Emma practiced with her guitar while Cal practiced the Eukele, and then Auntie Bean gave us Cal's Birthday present so after Daddy put it together they got busy working! I love them so much. Today I took Emma to preschool and picked her up and this was the first time I was ever able to do that. I know it seems like a simple thing but I am so grateful that I will be able to be the one who can do that from now on!

Drowning Fast

Why didn't someone shoot me when I thought I would be able to get so much done around the house being a Housewife? Today was definitely one for the records. It started with Emma getting into bed with me at 4 am, simultaneously waking up her brother. She then announced..."is there anything to do? I'm not tired at all." No! Go to bed!

This morning we had library school in which I arrived way too early. Errr. Then we met Bean and Mom for lunch and we were late. Then we went shopping and Cal discovered how exhilarating it is to punch me while I try to push the cart. Then we got home from shopping at 3 only to have 2 awake kids cry that I dare try to put them down for a nap.

Now we are having the screaming match that has become routine with Emma every night. She wants to be held, she doesn't want her mom to leave the room, etc. etc. So Nick has yelled, and spanked her, and I have done the same. Does anyone else have any advice? Am I a terrible mother that I am not coddling her? On one hand I think "well she's only 3" and then on the other hand I think "good grief, grow up, you're 3!" So I continue on with Mom guilt, bleary eyed from lack of sleep.

Our house looks like some type of intercity tornado stormed through. There is ham and bean soup cooked onto our stove and Nick is watching skating on tv. My head feels like it is going to explode with all of this! Errrr!