An Attitude of Gratitude

This attitude of dissent has crept into our home. 

I find myself being a voice of complaint rather than being a light in this world.  And of course, what a Momma does, her kids are quick to pick up and model themselves.  So we're all going downhill with grumpiness, bad attitudes, and just general downward thinking.

But November is the time to reject all of that thinking. 

It is after all the season of gratitude! 

I have been doing the Armor of God Bible study with our church (I plan to write about that in another blog!) and this verse was brought to my attention:

You may be like me and have heard this verse a kajillion times.  It's my fall back when I am stressed and taking things back from the cross and worrying about things that I was not even designed to worry about. 

But here's the thing I've learned about this verse.  I'm sharing this with you because it's kind of life changing.  Not only are we to ask God for things, to talk to Him, to tell him what is on our mind and to make those requests known, girl, but we are to do it with Thanksgiving. 

In other words we are not supposed to approach the thrown of God as sniveling, whining children, only complaining about what we don't have and what hasn't gone our way, and what we're scared of.  Don't get me wrong, God wants to hear those things from you. 

But He wants to hear thanksgiving too. 

Thanksgiving.  It's a magical word.  It is something that, when we do it, when we give Thanks, it turns our whole perspective, our whole world, our whole attitude upside down.

Because then I'm not just complaining but I'm also realizing how great I have it in the grand scheme of things. 

Because then I'm not looking so inward as to what I need and what I want but I am looking outwardly to what He has given me. 

And what happens when we come to God with Thanksgiving?

Verse 7 explains that that is when we are blessed with God's peace.  See, God's peace is given to us when we ask Jesus into our hearts.  We have it within us.  But when we're anxious and not going to God and not being thankful, we aren't going to feel that peace, to experience that peace. 

But when we start going to God with our thanksgiving, that's when he pours out His blessing of peace on our lives.  It's a peace that makes no sense to us, we can't even comprehend how we are feeling peace in the midst of chaos and terror and crazy.  But we are.  And we can.  And YOU can. 

I can tell you about this because, it is true!  I know it is true because I have God's peace.  Sure, there are times when I become too like this world and I stress, and I panic, and I freak.  But when I remember to pray and pray and pray and when I pepper those prayers with thanksgiving, that's when his peace is on me like a warm blanket. 

So I really urge you to practice thanksgiving this month. 

Everyday we can count our blessings and marvel at all that God has done for us. 

I am so very blessed.  He made me ME and He gave me this very life to live out in the best way He wants me to do that.  I am feeling very thankful for that on this first day of November. 

So day 1: I am thankful for this very life He gave me.  I don't want anyone else's.  I'm so glad I have mine!

What are YOU Thankful for today? Comment below, I'd love to hear from you!

Crushing Comparison

Comparison.  

It's one of the worst habits I have.  

Every day I seem to try to compare our lives to others around us.  

I try to homeschool like others I see...in blogs, in friends, in some imaginary perfect world my mind seems to create as co-mingling of everything I see.  I try to keep house like books, commercials, and magazines suggest.  I try to be the wife as soap operas, movies, and reality television hints at being.  

I try to do these silly, foolish things because I compare my life to others.  I compare what I have and how I act to how they are and what they have. And to what I think others think I should be. 

And suddenly within an instant of seeing what people make on pinterest, the perfect lives they display on facebook, the blogs that tout the amazingly patient homeschooling mother: suddenly my life just doesn't seem good enough.  My abilities don't add up to what is required to be a good wife, mother, teacher. We don't have good enough things, I don't keep our house decorated as well as I should.  My husband's not romantic enough.  My children aren't well behaved enough.  This house of cards built on the foundation of comparison comes crashing down.

Comparison takes our joy. It takes our happiness.  It makes us miserable about a life that should make us happy down to our very core.  

We are after all so blessed beyond measure. Blessed with things and love and people that God gives us that we don't in any way deserve.

By comparing my life to others I diminish God's ability to give me what is perfect for my own uinique situation.  In a way, comparison is throwing back into God's face what He has given us.  Saying it's not good enough;  That what we have in mind surely must be better than what He came up with.  

And seriously, when put like that, how dumb does it sound?  

I decided to blog about this when I came across some articles on Pinterest titled things like "20 things to do to be happier each day"  or "4 things that will ruin your homeschooling".  I'm not linking to them because there is absolutely nothing wrong with those blogs and are written my wonderful women.  

But the bullet point each article contained that said something generic like "don't compare your life to others" left me wanting more of an explanation.  I mean, that I know.  I get it.  But the hard thing for me, the obstacle I struggle with is, "how do you actually stop comparing?"  How do you make your views and your life be good enough for you?  

To stop comparing, these are some things I have done:

*Take a Facebook break

I think the time period you do this for, well, this kind of revolves around your habit of checking it.  Do you check it once a day?  Maybe go a week without it.  Check it every hour?  Even going a day without it could break your cycle of dependency on finding out what everyone else is doing.  Even sub-consciously you may be sizing yourself up to everyone else without even noticing.

*Make a gratitude journal.  I began doing this after reading

One Thousand Gifts: A Dare to Live Fully Right Where You Are by Ann Voskamp

 It has so truly helped.  Writing simple and yet complex blessings God gives like "light slanting through autumn leaves outside kitchen window" gives me a profound new viewpoint which helps me to see the every day as a gift and to actively seek out and establish blessings for what they truly are.  

*View yourself in a better light

I so often find fault in myself.  The other day a mom was talking to me while Emma was in ballet class.  She complimented me on how well behaved my children are.  I found myself, in looking back to be a humiliating way, talking about how it's because I have them on a schedule and then proceeding to tell her how it's so bad that they're on a schedule and how they now depend too much on their schedules.  Rather than simply accept the compliment I had to distort and twist it until I made it into something bad that I do.  

How weird is that?  So seek out what you do, and what you do well. Own those things. Find things that you are good at and bask in them rather than try to find fault in yourself.  By doing that we can stop wanting to be like others and simply partake in being ourselves. 

I read a book recently that said something like "quit comparing your outtake reel to someone else's highlights video".  Do you get that?  I had this problem especially with Facebook.  I would look at someone else's photos of their perfectly dressed children from their most recent photo shoot and suddenly the last bit of confidence I had while sitting in my cruddy sweats on my discount couch in our dusty house crumbles and I feel inadequate and poor and a failure as a mother.  

All because I saw a photo.  

Yikes.

People often times only show what they want you to see.  You don't see the bad, the ugly, the tired, the fights.  But so often you are shown their best while you're in your worst.

Sound familiar?

 By remembering that their best is not the only side of them can help you to stop comparison and to remember that they are broken people in a broken world too, just like you.  

I hope this list helps you.  I have gotten a lot better at not comparing our life to the lives of others I see.  I've been able to say to myself "okay I may not be able to do that but there are lots of other things I am good at" and just leave it at that.  I hope today you can squash any comparison going on in your mind and you can store up the joy you have in your heart because of the life God has blessed you with.  

Happy weekend sweet friends! 

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