God's Signature

This morning during my walk with Lucy I came to a couple of houses where there was a big clearing in the trees and I could see the sky so clearly, which is pretty odd in the city. When I look at the sky I have to catch my breath...the sky is like seeing God's name written for the World to see. Isn't it amazing? We are so small and such a small picture of the gigantic Earth and Galaxy puzzle and yet looking at the sky makes me feel like God is hugging me. I mean after all, if God can keep the stars hanging in the sky and the Earth orbiting around the sun, surely He will provide for us. Surely he will see us through.

Best Brother In Law Ever

I must say I think I have the best brother in law ever! He saw a need and filled it. Nick and I have been so consumed with gloom and doom with the whole unemployment load on our shoulders. He is taking us to a Chicago Bears game with his amazing girlfrend Maggie! Isn't that amazing? Don't you just want to kiss him? Although this is super exciting to me, I KNOW it means so much to Nick. He's been watching our children every hour of every day and hasn't been out of the house so something for him will be great. Plus I think it will be really good for us to be able to have a little time away from the children.
In all ways God provides. Whether it be more money in your bank account than before (how did that happen?), an inspirational email from an editor, or a loving gesture from a brother, God provides for our spiritual, physical, and emotional needs.
Now Nick is busy growing a Ditka mustache...oh great! :) Did I mention we're excited?

Preschool's in Session!

Here's the big girl getting ready to get out of the car in preschool!
Here we are praying for Emma's first day of school...when we were done she asked us to pray for Calvin...isn't that just precious?

Here's our little girl by the car...she looks so tiny in this picture!

Emma Kazoo on her first day of preschool

Today was Emma's first day of preschool so our home was all abuzz with excitement! Emma didn't sleep much last night because she was nervous! She said she had such a good time and they let her play with bugs and they glued beans to their name. She seems to totally be into it now...yeah! Praise God she is adjusting well. I cannot believe I am a Mommy of a Preschooler though! Where has the time gone?

First day of Preschool!

Today is our first day of preschool! How exciting for Emma! I am sure I will be posting a TON of pictures later on. I know this is selfish but I am having a really hard time with Emma starting preschool. Especially because I cannot be at home. It's great that Nick gets to be home with the kids but it makes me have to sob uncontrollably to think that I am missing everything. I am not there to get her ready for her first day or to tell her its okay. I'm not there to do her hair or to tell her about when I went to preschool. Nick is picking me up so I can be there when we drop her off but I want to be there for everything! I would have made her pancakes shaped like pencils and other fun things for breakfast. But no! Stupid work! Stupid Nick losing his job so I can't be at home. Stupid, stupid.

Anyway, in case you haven't caught on, I tend to be mopey and whiney in the morning and then post a happier, cheerful post later on in the day. Not saying thats the rule since its my blog and I can do whatever I want.

So long Summer

This past weekend we were happy to bid adios to Summer. We attended a local festival in our area, stopped at the Farmers Market for some goodies, visited with family, and played in the sprinkler one last time! I had Nick bring down all of our Autumn decor from the attic so I am busy getting the house prepared.

One of my all time favorite things is lighting the twinkle lights around our house, lighting candles all around, and just relaxing...doesn't that sounds nice? Ahhhh. Autumn lets us do that. In the chill we all bundle up on the couch, pop some popcorn, and snuggle together watching Charlie Brown.

Here are some pics from our weekend...enjoy!

Here's Emma enjoying a yard of chocolate covered Strawberries with Aunt Jaime...thanks James!

Boiler up! Aren't the cute? Cal's turning into quite the little towhead!

Our last time in the water...sprinkler or otherwise...see you next year summer!

No Job

This weekend we received word that Nick didn't get the job he interviewed for. I've got to tell you, I was not a happy camper. Up to this point I've been pretty Polly Sunshine about all of this...God will provide, He has a plan, etc, etc. But when we got this news I, sad to say, turned on God. I think its the first time its ever happened but I was angry with God...really angry. Angry like if he was in front of me I would have kicked Him in the shin. All I could do was melt down and cry...I want my life back, I don't want to have to move, I don't want any of this. But being God, when I asked for forgiveness for the whole shin kicking thing, He forgave me. He understands my hurt and frustration. He knows I am only human.
I think one of the hardest things for me in this is that I am frustrated with not knowing what is going on. I hate that. HATE that.
My devotions this morning were about sometimes things happen so you can comfort others and have compassion for what they are going through. I think I will definitely be able to do that.
So that's me. I've had a whole gamut of emotions this weekend but thankfully am back to resting in God's faithfulness. Whew, its good to be home!

The Weekend is Here!

So excited for the weekend! When I work and Nick is at home it is really hard to be away, so I am especially glad I get to be home for three whole days! Here are some of the things I am WAY too excited for this three day weekend:

getting to sleep in tomorrow
The Farmer's Market tomorrow morning
Getting to hear Calvin say "mine" some more...yesterday was the first time he ever said it!
Doing nothing with Nick tonight after the kids are in bed...ah!
Yard work, I know I am a dork!
My afternoon facial today!

I know, I know, you are thinking how can you afford a facial when you guys are so down and out right now? But my spa had this special and I am getting one for free! Isn't that awesome? The Lord knew I needed some cheering up and here's an esthetician who's ready to do the job!
Have a safe and happy holiday weekend everyone!

Being Happy

Lately I am sure that all I've been talking about it gloom and doom...blah, blah. But we are still rejoicing in all that God has given us! First of all Nick and I are so grateful for our little ones. We have such a bond with them and we are trying our best to raise them in the best home possible, and to show them the most love from God and ourselves. Next we have our family. I don't know how we would make it through anything without them. We have one another. I couldn't imagine going through something like this when your marriage is on the rocks. On a daily basis we find ourselves holding the other person up, telling them everything is going to be okay. Lastly and most importantly we thank God for, well, God. Who would we cry to if He wasnt' there? If He didn't care? How lonely that must feel for people who don't have God in their lives! So we thank God for all that we have. And we smile and find joy in our everyday life.

And now we wait...

Well here we are on a Monday morning and we are now on the other end of the interview process. Nick's interview went great! He said he would be really surprised if he didn't get the job! He would be the Director of Planning which would look great on his resume and would be really good experience. This means we would be moving to a small town about 1 1/2 hours from home. I think it would be a good thing for the kids to grow up in a small community. I am trying not to get too excited at the prospect of my husband being employed again. I know that it is all in God's hands. If he doesn't get the job then there must be a reason. If he does get the job we are going to continue to pray for God's will while we decide if he should take it. Please be praying for us. Right now we just want to make sure we make the right move. This could impact who are children marry, where they go to school, the friends they will have, their personalities, and on, and on. The good news is that they are hoping to have the position filled by October so hopefully there will not be a lot of waiting. For Nick's last job we waited 10 months before finding out he got it...10 months would be a LONG time to be unemployed! :( Hope you all are having a cheery Monday! I am going home and making a Chicken Potpie and a Peach pie for my adorable little family! Celebrating all of God's blessings today!

First Interview!

PHOTO COURTESY OF THE REEL MCCOY!

Guess what? Nick has a job interview Thursday! Praise God! Right now we are just praying to know God's direction in our lives. We want to make sure if Nick gets this position that it is what God wants for our family. The job would require a move and if we move I will most likely have to stay home. Any income I earned would be cancelled out by having to pay for daycare so it just wouldn't be advantageous for us to move. I would love to stay home but at the same time we are having a hard time finding a position for him that he can just walk into that will cover both of our income's now. When I start to think of all of the details I get panicked. I wonder how we will make ends meet and if we can sell our house and moving expenses, and how hard it will be to be away from family, and on, and on. But I know that I serve a God who is bigger than the details. He will see us through whatever he has in store for our family. Our yoke is light and easy to carry...when its not he's there to help us.

Anyway, please be praying for Nick on Thursday with his interview. May he be on his game and may God show us what He wants us to do. Thanks! Have a great day! :)

Wouldn't Trade a Second

Yesterday was our Wedding Anniversary! I simply cannot believe we've been married for six years...wow how time does fly. Nick took me for a romantic picnic with our favorite italian foods on the water. It was peaceful and beautiful. I am a lucky lady to have him! Thanks for loving me Nicholas!

4 pairs of shoes

This weekend on the way to church we had a little talk. We are going to work on two things this week, gang. Number 1, lets be joyful. God has given us so much. We are so blessed in our little family. Number 2, lets pick up all of our stuff. Not too hard, right?

This morning I came downstairs and in the foyer sat 4 pairs of shoes...so I am trying to be joyful that my family doesn't know how to pick up. Fun.

Worst Week Ever

I think this is the complete opposite of VH1’s best week ever. We went on vacation last week which was wonderful but now seems like a lifetime ago. As hard as it is to go back to work on Mondays it was made even harder when I got a call from Nick at work…he was on his way home as he had just been laid off. Ouch.

Our family is a well oiled machine but when the money stops flowing it all kind of comes to a screeching halt.
I think we are set for 6 months. By set I mean we can pay bills, send Emma to preschool, and get a little bit of food…nothing else.

A lot of things will happen in those 6 months: Calvin’s birthday, Halloween, thanksgiving, Christmas. I am not all about material possessions but it simply kills me inside to know we might not be able to provide for our children in those special ways.

Those of you who are family I am not worried as I know you’ll make the children still have a wonderful Christmas. Its those moments tied to those times that makes my heart break knowing that we won’t be able to provide for them. Things like apple picking, getting a Christmas tree, going to the Walnut Room, pumpkin picking. All of those family traditions the kids aren’t going to get to do this year.

My rational side says surely this can’t last for 6 months. My husband is the smartest person I know. He will fight for his family. But I am sure that’s what everyone else says in this situation.
My freaked out side of me asks what we will do if this lasts longer than 6 months? I mean, when do you put your house up for sale? When do you say “okay we are sinking fast?”

The future is a black hole to me right now, but then I lift my head and realize I am sitting in the palm of God’s hand. He’s stroking my hair and saying “shhh. It’s okay.” Nick keeps telling me this happened for a reason. I’m reminded of the Casting Crowns song that says “and every tear I’ve cried you hold in your hand, You’ve never left my side, and though my heart is torn I will praise you in this Storm.” I know my Redeemer lives, He will bring us out of this.

Our biggest goal right now is to not let the children’s lives be affected. We’ve never been a “lets go to the toystore and buy a bunch of stuff” kind of family so hopefully it won’t be very hard to keep things the same.

Please know I am not writing this as a “oh feel sorry for us” type thing. Rather I would love to have prayer backers behind us. The power of God is going to move mountains…He’s going to give Nicholas the most amazing job and He’s going to take care of our family! Amen. So please be praying for us. Lift us up any moment you can so we may be cloaked in prayer. Thank you so much in advance.

Crazy Week

I am sorry I have been somewhat aloof lately. This has been the hardest week on me emotionally and physically. In case you didn't know, Calvin is having a hard time talking. I've been up nights tirelessly researching what could be wrong, what I need to do. Nick's been living up to his title of "World's Best Daddy" by looking up how we sign certain things to him. I have also been up nights tirelessly crying, feeling guilty that I somehow caused this, and wondering if I would ever hear that sweet boy tell me he loves me. I know that's selfish but I want to hear it. I want to know that he feels loved and is as happy as his smile indicates.
Monday we (calvin and I) had a 2 1/2 hour appointment with a speech therapist who told me she thinks there is hope. It was like having an angel in my presence: Calvin loved her, she made me feel okay and that I am not a screw up for a mother. We begin intensive therapy when we get back from vacation. I am just so excited to see what can be done with my little man. He also needs his tongue clipped and I think Emma does too so we are going in next week to cross that hurdle.
Nick has a kidney stone...its the size of a marble. So he went in to surgery yesterday to have it pulverized. No matter how minor the surgery is I think when the love of your life goes under its pretty nerve wracking...don't you think? I had to also prepare myself for the worst: he could be bedridden for days and need me to do everything (more than I already do do everything, ha!). So far he's been a little nauseous but we're pulling through. I think this weekend will prove my strength if I don't have him around to help.
Next week we leave for vacation. My guest bed is covered with luggage. My guest room wall is covered with about 15 checklists (1 per bag). As you can see, I am in charge of packing. Please if you know where the Burt's Bees bug repellent has run to in our house I am all ears. Errrr. So I will persevere with that task this weekend...oh how fun.
So I think that's been my week in a nutshell. On top of the laundry, dishes, vacuuming, mopping, deluttering, etc.