Just a little Thank you God, Thank you God!

Do you ever look at your life and think, how did I get here? That’s the way I felt this weekend. I know that I have done it before, with the forethought being, how did I get so old? Why do I live here? What was I thinking when I thought I could pull off this mom charade? But this weekend, the thought was more along the lines of “I can’t believe all of the wonderful things/animals/furniture/transportation/basic bodily functions/rooms in our home that God has blessed me with.” Do you ever have those moments? I just look around in wonderment…God has taken such good care of me, in spite of everything. In spite of my horrid, horrid, wicked sins, God has forgiven me and blessed me beyond measure. That is what Grace is all about. There’s an acronym for Grace: God’s Riches at Christ’s Expense. Isn’t that just so true? The pastor preached on joy yesterday in the sermon, and oddly enough we learned about the same thing in Sunday School; we talked about how Christians shouldn’t be downer people. You know what kind of downer people I am talking about: the kind of people that complain about every thing, that always have something wrong in their lives, that bring the whole room down when they are there, and that just drain the emotional life out of people they are around. I don’t want to be one of those people. We should be so full of Joy! At everything that God has done in our lives and the forgiveness he has bestowed upon us! I want to be a joyful person!!! I am so blessed, we just can’t understand why he loves us so much! Help me to be one of those people, PLEASE! When I am whiny, or complainy that my amazing husband did one thing stupid (well, stupid to me at least) once in his life, just smack me upside the head and say something gospel-like, such as “be filled with the Lord Jesus Sista!” You have to, its required. Because like the song says I’ve got the love of Jesus, love of Jesus, down in my heart!

I'm Pretty Fly

So I was reading blogs yesterday as I tend to do every day and I stumbled upon this one website called FlyLady. The website starts you out on Baby steps to getting your house clean and decluttered. I think that clean isn't so much my problem as cluttered. My confession is that I think I had run across this one before but thought, "who doesn't have time to clean their house?" Well the answer is now me. I really need to follow a schedule. And as much as I love my new schedule it would be nice to be told when I should be cleaning certain things in the house...like sheets. How often are you supposed to change your sheets? Anyone? So my question is, does anyone else belong to Fly Lady? Do you like it? Do you hate it? I JUST signed up so I will be shining my sink as the instructions suggest. I am hoping a shiny sink will be the start to a shiny weekend!

Family Dinners

I love the idea of having Sunday Dinner after church. You can read all about it here. The gal that wrote this blog is from South Carolina. Which is weird because when I saw Sunday dinner I immediately thought about my own family in South Carolina. When we were down visiting them I became enamored by their ritual of Sunday dinner. Everyone comes from everywhere, the church and inland from the beach mainly, and they all sit down around my Aunt Patsie's table for Supper. She always makes chicken and rice and there is always gravy on everything. There is always a cobbler on the side table. I want my family to know the stability and love wrapped up in this family tradition. Plus I love the thought that there is so much food so guests are always welcome. How homey! So go on now and plan yourself a nice supper for after church this Sunday.

The Good, The Bad, and the Ugly

Okay so this is not an attractive picture of me (hence I am the ugly one!). But I thought this was the funniest picture so I just had to post it. I guess I am humble or something. In Youth Group we used to say that you can't have fun unless you are humble; and thatis true, isn't it?

Anyway, Emma is the Good with her princessy fairy wand, granting Mommy all of her wishes. Poof, stop being ugly! And then there's Calvin. I love the Devil baby glare he's giving the camera, all swaddled in red. So uncharacteristic of him and yet it was captured at the same time as Emma looking angelic. I just HAD to share as I thought it was hilarious.

Thursday Schedule Update

So I will have to let you know how my new cool schedule works tomorrow. This morning my alarm didn't go off so I woke up 10 minutes before I was supposed to be at work...yikes! Plus we have a doctor's appointment for Calvin this afternoon and then errands to run so I won't be home this afternoon for chores during naptime. After that we are going down to the Witwer Manor for dinner and then my 7-8 cleaning time will be dispelled as well. So I will let you know how it runs tomorrow...sorry!

My Wednesday was Wonderful...kind of

So today we went to Shipshie, which for those of you who don't know is actually pretty far away from my house. We set out this morning and were supposed to meet my Gram and Aunt Jan there at 10 but ended up not leaving our house until about that time. Jaime came over to ride with me and thank the Lord that she did, she was such a big help! I think she was about to lose her mind though with all it takes to get two kids out the door with extra outfits and snacks and cups and at the last minute Calvin needed fed before we left. Exhausting. Then, probably about 3/4 of the way there, poor Emma gets car sick and pukes Oatmeal all over herself. You know who your best friend is when they are on the side of the road with you peeling puke clothes off of your kid. Thank you so much Maime! Back into the car, cleaned up and ready to go. By the way thanks to the EverGreen guy who stopped to see if he could help as he was the ONLY person to stop to see if two women with two kids needed assistance...what has our world come to? At Shipshie it was raining like none other so we only shopped the Mercantile which was so much fun! I decided to splurge and buy new sunglasses...they are more expensive than I spend on anything but Happy Mother's Day to me, right? You can see them here: I think I like them the best on Calvin but that's just because he reminds me of that old bald guy that used to dance on the Great America commercials...do you know who I am talking about?

After that we ate at Essenhaus which was fabulous as always! I got a chef salad with ham and soup, which was originally for Emma but she wouldn't eat it. Supper was followed by Peanut Butter pie and a cup of coffee...yum! Another Giada moment!

It was wonderful to spend the day with the girls! I am so happy my Aunt is back in town and it was fun with Jaime driving with me...we had such a blast!

One of the things I saw I really wanted to buy when I was out and about were candles. But I didn't buy any. I have a million and two candles at home and just about that many candle holders that makes it just seem silly to buy more. I love the way candles look and the way it changes the environment within the home. Whenever we go to Bean's house she always has tons of candles going and it always looks so nice. So I am going to try to light candles every night before dinner. Here are the candles I lit last night to disburse through the house:

I think it will create a relaxed atmosphere which I should be creating for Nick to come home to after a busy day.

SAHMs

Photo courtesy of Sarasota Memorial Hospital

Why do I get so jealous of stay at home moms? For some reason when I hear that someone is a stay at home mom, something inside of me bubbles up and I get so irritated, it is just unbelievable. I feel almost as a child when they want something that is simply unattainable, "but I want to be a Stay at Home Mom too!" And yet when I stop to think of it, I don’t want to be a stay at home mom. I tried it once and went out of my cotton-freaking mind! I am definitely not cut out to be stay at home mom. I need my day to have structure and I need to interact with other adults about things other than the number of bowel movements in a day and the latest rice cereal on the market. I also became incredibly depressed and anxious when I was at home with the kids full time. Now I only work part time and I must admit that I love what I do. I am not married to my job or anything but I definitely feel a sense of accomplishment when I leave work. I wonder if I am jealous of the stay at home mom’s financial position; that they can stay at home, because honestly we couldn’t afford for me to stay home all of the time. But on the other hand, I don’t truly know the financial position of these stay at home mom’s. Maybe no one in the house can afford to eat meat or dairy products because she stays home. Maybe they are charging everything to their credit cards so they can look affluent. I am not trying to be mean, but it does help to sometimes remind myself that things are not always as they appear on the surface.

Vacationing without Going Broke

This is a good article about going on a vacation this year and saving some money. You can read it here. I know we are looking for ways to save money on our vacation this year. One way is we buy a valued visitor card or an Entertainment book. There are coupons for free gifts, 2 for 1 meals and percentage off at certain stores and hotels. Every little bit helps I guess.

Sleep Deprived Mama

So Nick and I were talking this weekend and as we are talking he made me realize that I have been surviving the last few months on only 3 hours of sleep a night. 3 HOURS OF SLEEP A NIGHT! A light went off in my head when I realized this: this would explain why I am so grumpy, and unmotivated, and unorganized, and... Not only am I stumbling through the day but I think my brain is just shutting down at certain points of the day. So I am making a declaration and saying no more! I am going to get more sleep (I'm making the drastic change to 4 hours of sleep a night) and I am going to have a schedule for myself so that I am no longer found in the kitchen staring blankly at the counter...just standing and staring. Here is my schedule for myself:

4:30-5:00 Swiffer house and mop
5:00-5:45 Get ready for work, do devotions, pump (breast milk, not iron, teehee!)
6:00-1:00 Work, work, work!
1:00-2:00 Eat lunch and play with kids
2:00-3:00 Naps for the children, cleaning and household chores for me
3:00-3:30 If children still napping, downtime for me!
4:00-5:00 Play with kids, prepare dinner
5:00-6:00 Prepare and eat dinner
6:00-7:00 Open for playing, relaxing, whatnot
7:00-8:00 Cleaning!
8:00-8:18 Storytime with Emma before bed
8:18-9:00 Alone time with Nick
9:00-9:30 Shower or take bubble bath
9:30-10:00 Get ready for bed, get outfit ready for next day, set coffee maker, etc.
10:00 bed time!

So if I were to go to bed at 10:00 I would get 6 hours of sleep (actually 5 with 2 feedings with Calvin through the night). However I am realistically going into this knowing it is going to be more like 11:00 before I get to sleep most nights, but a girl can try! I know this is a pretty strict schedule but I don't have to follow it to a t, its just a guideline for me. There are so many things to do that I don't know WHAT to do...does that make sense? So I will let you know later on in the week how my new schedule is going.

Happy Mother's Day!

Happy Mother's Day to all of you mommy's out there! Nick brought me breakfast in bed and now I am spending some time alone, which is what I asked for. I thought I would post a picture of the kids so I can relish how lucky I really am to be a mother. There are so many hardships that come with being a mother: having absolutely no time to ones self (practically), not having any time to get ready, being puked on, being pooped on, the tantrums, the sleepless nights. But all of the good outweighs all of the bads. Not only am I lucky to be a mother, but I am a mother with Nick as my children's father. I don't think there is anything better that I could have asked for. He is such a great husband and daddy. He is my support that is always there for me and always reassures me when I am convinced that I am not good at this whole Mom thing. I am so lucky to be celebrating Mother's Day with the people I am with right this very moment!

Have You Wondered Where I've Been?

I appologize for being so aloof lately. Life has pretty taken over life if, that makes sense. But I think I now have a clear view of things again. I have been so busy and so stressed over nothing. I have been so mean to my family and husband because I have felt like the world is crashing in on me. I haven't had time to put lotion on or get dishes done. I have gotten a huge boost of confidence and energy though.

Sunday Nick left for a conference in Detroit. I missed him so much but wasn't my usual whiny selfish self that I usually am...a definite sign of maturity on my part. But while he was gone I realized just how much I love him and how much I miss him when he is away. I also realized I am to have him...I have no idea how single mom's do it!

Tuesday I left via train to meet Nick in Detroit. I felt very Anne of Green Gables as I stood on the platform of the 1892 train station, waving to Peg, Emma, and Cal. The sun was shining, the flowers were blooming; it was a warm spring day with a gentle breeze in the air. I boarded the train and found I was facing backwards...instantly petrified of motion sickness I downed a couple Dramamine. And surprise, they worked beautifully! I was even able to read on the train...and dream, and sleep, and sightsee!

When I arrived in Detroit it was like living out a fairy tale with Nick waiting for me. He was so happy to see me and he scooped me up and kissed me. How romantic! A definite change from the two of us nagging one another all of the time at home.

On the way to the hotel we stopped at a gourmet market for some shopping and then onto the hotel. Once freshened up we hit the street in search of fun things. We first stopped at Hard Rock for drinks and an appetizer. Next we went to Cyprus, a greek restaurant featured in the Rachael Ray mag (thanks Aunt Jan!) for some of the best greek food. We trested ourselves to drinks and the flaming cheese. Opa! Next we went to the Greektown Casino and gambled $1.00 away on slots. I won a few times which was fun. Nick said it was cute to watch me win. Seriously though I had such sensory overload I thought I was going to start rocking myself in a corner. After that we went back to the hotel to relax. After American Idol and watching the polls we headed down to Sweet Lorraine's and got drinks and dinner...we split an entree. Afterwards we went hot tubbing and were very pleased to see that we were the only ones there. How romantic!

When we awoke the next morning it was 8:00 am, a long time after I normally wake up at 4! It was so refreshing! Nick went out for coffee and I lounged which was heavenly. When he got back with my cappuccino, he kissed me and then headed out for his conference and leaving me to my own devices. I sat there with my cup of coffee and very slowly savored a couple pastries we had purchased the night before. They were the most delicious things I have ever eaten. They were from Astoria, a bakery voted best bakery, one of the best in the nation! I closed my mouth and savored every morsel, very Giada of me!

After my breakfast I took a long bath with some bath salts I had bought myself. I worked my way through a couple of magazines I had been trying to get through. After that I slowly got ready and actually took time to go through my routine. My routine which over the last two years has slowly dwindled from an hour long pampering affair to maybe 10 minutes of doing the musts. And during this time of me getting ready it hit me: putting lotion on should not be an extravagance. I should have enough time for myself to put lotion on.

So now we are back home and I am so refreshed and relaxed! I just need to make this feeling last. I need to stay silly and still treat Nicholas like we are still in love, because we are. Madly and deeply in love. He helped me see that. I feel like my old self again, not a wash maid or a beer wench, or a mom, or a wife, or a nosy neighbor. I feel like me, and I like that.

Grandma Blue Jean's House

For Emma's Birthday my Gram bought Emma a sandbox for her to play in at her house. At first Emma was a little leary but eventually she warmed up to it and now really seems to enjoy it! Gram got it for her house because living in the city doesn't afford us the luxury of having a large yard, so her house is somewhere Emma can go to run in the grass and play. The pictures were from Emma's time at Grandma Jean's on Friday. She had so much fun! She first played on the swingset stand and when we brought her in from that she kept screaming "monkey bars, monkey bars"; it was so sad! After dinner we (by we I mean my Grandma and Jaime, heehee!)set up the sand box so Emma could dig right in (pardon the pun). While Gram and Emma played, Jaime, Calvin and I hung out on the grass. By the way, we are pretty sure Gram got the sandbox so SHE could play.

After the sandbox it was onto playing with bubbles, which does happen to be Emma's favorite past time! Aunt Jaime has a bubble machine at Gram's for Em. Emma kept running through the bubbles saying "it feels good, it feels good". So precious. I must say that watching Emma run through the bubbles and then take her wand and try to catch them is one of those moments that makes me misty eyed just thinking of. It was like time stood still and I just kept trying to take in as many details as I could so I could always remember that moment: the way the breeze was blowing Emma's curls, how her shorts were too little and her little legs just kept running, her cute little feet in her new Crocs she refuses to take off, the sound of her squeals and giggles, her smile when she would catch a bubble. I hope I can remember all of those things for the rest of my life.

Oh, and I forgot to tell you as you are probably wondering about the title of this post. Emma was feeling her pants one day and it went like this "pants, pants, jeans, jeans, Grandma Jeans". I may have already told this story but I just think it is so hilarious that she thinks Grandma Jean is Grandma Denim. When I was a little girl I had a similar word: yard. I thought a yard was where you played not a measurement. So my mom used to sell Stickers by the yard in her store and I would always call them Stickers by the Lawn...how funny kids are!

Cuppa, Cuppa

My sis-in-law bought me these pink measuring cups and spoons! Aren't they fab? They will work perfectly in my all pink kitchen! Bean and I have a sister ball that we have been doing for years. I can't believe its been years already! Anyway, the sister ball is a small silver ball with a maroon ribbon. I think it is actually for potpurri or an ornament or something but it is two halves with a hinge and a clasp so you can open it up and put small things in. Well the darn thing is so small that it is almost impossible to find anything that goes inside of it, so we've always given gift bags of things with the ball tucked inside. So this was her gift to me only it was ball-less because my gift to her was ball-less last time. And why you ask? Because silly me let Emma play with the ball and now it is gone. I cannot find the ball! How a one year old manages to lose a silver ball is beyond me but lose she did. Anyway, these are my new utensils and I love them!

MEAN MAN IN OUR NEIGHBORHOOD

Okay so I don't think that any of you know this man but I had to post this because it irritated me so much. Yesterday we went on a walk which was absolutely wonderful. On the way home however there was a man who had his van parked in his driveway so he was completely blocking the sidewalk. Now I understand if this happens when you are having a party or something and you are out of room to park...that's cool. But this guy could have pulled up or parked in the street...the options were endless, but instead he chose to park in the middle of the sidewalk. So as we were walking we came upon the blocked sidewalk. The man was out there with his daughter who was maybe four and she was standing on the sidewalk next to the van. From the opposite side of the van a little boy, maybe about 7 years old rides his bike around the van and accidentally knocks this little girl down. The mean dad who obviously can't park yells at the boy to get out of there and then decides he wants to yell at him, so he grabs him by the arm to stop. What a jerk! Then he is yelling at the little boy that he shouldn't even be riding his bike on the sidewalk he needs to ride on the street. So I kind of butted in and yelled at him that maybe he shouldn't be parking on the sidewalk, which you aren't supposed to do anyway. I mean none of that would have happened anyway if the man knew how to obey the rules so everyone could use the sidewalk. So anyway, this man lives on the block next to ours and you'd better believe that the next time I am walking my kids around the neighborhood and see their little four year old daughter riding her tricycle around on the sidewalk, I will suggest she ride in the street. Isn't that what he said? Shouldn't the rules apply to everyone? Because yes, I know if you are an adult you are supposed to be riding your bike in the street. Everyone knows that. But do we really expect our children to do that? Do they have to keep up with the flow of traffic as well? Should they learn the correct arm movements to signal turning? Didn't we all have to do that as children playing with our friends in bike gangs? So if you see this man please tell him he's not a very nice man. I have been worried about that poor little boy all day. He was probably scared to death and is going to ride out in the street now and get killed all because this man doesn't know how to park.