Treasure Hunting with Kinetic Sand

For Easter we gave the kids Kinetic Sand in their baskets.  

Oh, excuse me.  The Easter Bunny gave the kids Kinetic Sand in their baskets.  

I have multiple personalities or something as  I keep referring to myself as The Easter Bunny for no apparent reason...silly me. 

Anywho, have you played with this stuff?  It's so cool! It's squeezable sand you can't put down... It's fun for kids and it is a wonderful quiet time activity when the world gets too loud for our Cal.  It would be great for old people too.  So if you know of any old people you should buy them this stuff too.  Just sayin'. 

The kids got out the playdough tools that they have not played with in FOREVER! and had fun mooshing it and trying to create things.  

The thing that made our Kinetic sand awesome is that it is normally $12.99!!!!  for a container of it and I scored it at Target for $6.48!  Unless you are my sister in law reading this who's daughter also received Kinetic Sand in her basket and then I totally paid retail. Only the best.  Full on retail all the way :)  

I'm not one who buys things because they're a steal, am I? 

I can't even say that last sentence without bursting out laughing at the sarcasm...of course I am!  There needs to be a saying like short-hair-don't-care except for about bargain people not caring if others know they scored a deal...if you think of that you just let me know.  

After all, when you spend so much time asking for God's favor and doing the hallelujah, Jesus provides dance in the aisles of Target, you have to own up to the deals He has blessed you with, right? 

Anyway, so excuse my tangent but the bottom line is that I don't think we would have splurged on the sand if it hadn't been for the clearance so be sure to check it out at your Target too!  

I had to show this photo and as you can see above there are crutches photo bombing in the background.  Emma came home from ballet saying she hurt her leg so she immediately came home and got my full size adult crutches out from when I broke my ankle.  

Totally not a drama girl.  Not.at.all. 

Sigh. 

The Kinetic Sand is moist and you have to keep it in a sealed container.  I recommend the plastic tubs that wonton soup comes in from a Chinese restaurant.  So, if you don't have any you can have an excuse to order some chinese food to get the containers.  

Or ziploc should work if you want to be lame and not order the food of the Chinese :)

I figured this would be one of yet again, many toys that gets played with once and then completely forgotten but they have played with it multiple times this week and are loving all of the things they can do with it!  Including one of their fave things: 

Treasure Hunt!  I hid 10 of these beads in each of their kinetic sands (they each have a different color so we're keeping them separated) and then they have fun digging them out like Archaeologists.  :) 

So whether you find the sand on sale or not I think the Kinetic Sand is definitely worth the money...we're loving it!  

Do you have Kinetic Sand for your littles?  I'd love to know your uses for it...post away with any ideas you may have, thanks!

Joy and sometimes dread come in the morning...

I've been a little quiet lately.  

Things happen around here and things are thought in my mind and it's often I find myself shutting down.  

The other day I shot this photo.  It's not much content, I know, but the sun is gently rising behind the fir in our yard. And I am reminded that there is beauty out there just waiting to be had.

Never mind that there's an autistic orangutan just trying to rip your face off living in your house. 

Beautiful sunrises still occur.

And so I keep pushing on.

Can I just say how much I hate Autism and this road I'm on with Cal? 

Because seriously, there are days, when I don't know how much I can take. 

I know people say that and then people trying to be supporting say things like "God never gives us more than we can handle" or "God gives special kids to special parents".

But if you have ever felt like I have felt than you know you want to get in your car and run those people over...slowly, intentionally...with a stolen cement truck with the spinny thing still going in the back.

Cal has been difficult.  To say difficult would be a vast understatement.  Those monkeys on planet of the apes taking over....that was difficult.  This is way over that. To the point I was in the doctor's office today crying, crying to the doctor about him. If you've ever cried to someone who listens to your seven year old's heart beat, there might be something wrong with you.  Just sayin'. 

But the lady did have some good advice.  She was able to get through to me enough to cut myself some slack.  

And she gave me permission to mourn.  This has been something I've been doing for the past four years...mourning. 

Mourning over the normalcy of child hood being gone.

Mourning over not being able to do normal kid things with him.

Mourning over not really knowing what normal is anymore.  

But she told me it's okay to do that and today I felt like this is what I've needed to hear.  She also gave me some wonderful advice. Here it is "kids with autism are not on the normal spectrum of what kids can do.  Some things they can do much better.  Some things much worse.  But life must be adapted for them and not them trying to fit into a normal life.  As you can't expect a blind child to know his colors so you also can't expect him to do things as a normal child.  You must give him boundaries and then expect him to do his own thing within those boundaries."

Wow.  That speech seemed life changing to me today.  

In homeschooling Cal has completely refused to do work.  Ugh, it's been like pulling hair out to get him to do anything.  In stepping back from the whole situation I am sure that he isn't learning in that kind of environment and it is such an emotional struggle for Emma and I to get him to cooperate that at the end of the day the whole family just feels drained and exhausted. 

So this afternoon I did what the doctor in more detail suggested I do...I insisted Cal stay in the homeschool area of the house and then I did school with Emma.  She and I got ALL of her work done in record time and he played with educational toys nearby.  He would often chime in if he knew an answer or recite memorization things that he was overhearing.  Overall it was very successful and seemed to do the trick in giving him a break but keeping him in the school setting.  

Hopefully in a week or so I can start gradually adding some school work in for him or to have him work with some more educationally based things that he can learn from.  

So that is where I've been in a nutshell.  I know probably several of you get where I'm coming from and those that don't I hope can empathize with me.  Still here alive and kicking and pushing on with the "dream" of Autism.  I know eventually this cloud of doom-feeling will pass and I will be able to enjoy the sunrises God puts out there for me to enjoy. 

Sobbing With Thanks

Today I just started reading "Louder Than Words" by Jenny McCarthy. Have you read this? I am in the first chapter and had to stop because I was crying so hard. Her experience with her son's seizure was so much the same as mine...the feeling helpless, the feeling of your son being ripped away from you. The experience of begging God to take your life so your son can live. The fear of not knowing if your son would ever wake up. How she described the seizure too was painfully similar: the goneness of his soul, the gasping for breath like a fish out of water, the whispering to him that mama's here, mama's here. Watching the minutes pass and thinking "seizures don't last this long". All of it just ripped at my heart and although I could stop reading I couldn't stop sobbing.

You see, now we are on the opposite side of it. Calvin is healthy and thriving, and mine. All I could do is lift my hands in my dressing room and thank God for his mercies. Feeling those raw emotions again in the midst of Calvin growing and maturing was awe-inspiring. It was like God gave me his scrapbook and said "look at what I have accomplished with him". Amazing.

I just checked on Calvin tonight and he was sleeping so peacefully. Again I found myself sobbing with gratitude to God. Two months ago I didn't know what was wrong with Cal...ever. I never knew what if he was hot or cold, in pain or uncomfortable. Nothing. His words changed everyday so his word for milk could me something different every single day. It left him completely frustrated and it left me feeling like such a complete failure as a mother..."what kind of mother can't help her child?" This evening he bumped his head and was able to come to me and point to his head and say "boo boo, mama, (kiss noise)". How unfathomably awesome that he can tell me he needs me to kiss his booboo.

I know this sounds simple but watching him starting to emerge and be silly and kind is something that is just amazing to me and is such a priceless gift from God. Its as if his personality has been covered with a giant piece of swiss cheese. Sometimes I can peek through a little mousey hole and see his silliness and kindness, but most of the time its masked with this stinky cheese layer of not being able to communicate.

I know that all things are from God and all of this is God inspired and made. Our new therapist said that Calvin was healed and I believe that with all of my being. With two different therapists from two different institutes diagnosing him with severe apraixia I know it wasn't a mis-diagnosis. I know that God heard all of our prayers and has been massaging his little mind to get those neuro pathways carved out. I can't thank you enough for your prayers and support.

Here's to what God holds in our future. :)