Wonderful Wednesday...

Happy Wednesday! Hope you all had a nice weekend and are enjoying this week! The weather in our neck of the woods has been super nice/weird this week with a Fall Day, then a hot day, and now seemingly a rainy day...a little bit of everything apparently.

We are supposed to be going on a field trip with Emma's school this morning and I am hoping that we don't go...its been raining all night and we are going to a mosquito and tick infested woods to tromp around...oh fun in dry conditions...so not a hiking in wet grass kind of girl :) And cuddling with our Kazoo sounds fun too!

What else has been going on? Hmmm, let me think. Well last night I had dinner with a dear old friend and it was so much fun. It was nice just to get out of the house for an hour or so. When I got back, from the look on Nick's face he thinks I'm some sort of saint for not killing those children of ours..."those children" as he calls them :)

Monday I spoke to Cal's doctor who said that it sounds as though he definitely has asthma. Saturday Emma had hockey and Cal did nothing but cough the entire time...no joke, the whole time. Poor guy, he just couldn't catch his breath. So from that and the fact that the other inhaler was working on him, the Pediatrician said it sounds like he has asthma, hopefully just set off from allergies this time of year. We have an appointment with the allergist in the distant future (because that's how allergists roll apparently!) so hopefully they will say "well keep him away from mold" and then our problems will be solved.

Speaking of Emma's hockey she fell this time. alot. Poor kid. But she still had fun so as long as she can have fun falling and lying on her back like a turtle I think we are accomplishing something here, don't you?

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While Emma was at preschool Monday Cal and I decided to hit up the zoo. It is fun when I can spend time with just him...I've waited for these mornings as really this is the only time I get with just him, you know? Emma I had for two years alone before Cal arrived so its nice to see his personality emerging...he really is a funny guy as you can see from his smiles...
String Cheese snack...what a waste...he carrys is around and trys to wrap it around things so I just have to throw it away...or he'll say "cheers" and hit it against things. See? He's a funny guy :)

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Then the other day I went out to the car on the curb and this follows me out:


One of his sisters crocs on, and yes that is a McDonald's box on top of his head...I'm just glad the flasher decided to keep his pants on :)

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And on an end note I have to tell you this. Last night on my way to dinner I took library books back and have so many of them (don't judge me!) that Nick had to help me with them out to the car. Anywho when he got in the house apparently Cal had his pants off and said "potty!" and was standing at the bathroom door. Nick told him to go on in and Cal said "dark" so Nick turned on the light, Cal ran to the potty and went! He held it till then, took off his pants, and everything! THEN when Nick was giving them a bath (because he's the best Daddy/Hubby combo package ever!) Cal yelled "poop!" so Nick set him on the potty and he peed, which is what Cal calls poop, but whatever! So excited this is all finally starting to stick and I can see a light at the end of the diaper tunnel!!!!

Whew!

Happy Weekending! Hope you have lots of plans for the next couple days! Today is kind of crammed packed. Nicholas has to work today so I am taking Emma to Hockey alone...with Cal in tow. I always get more anxious about these situations than necessary but its hard to get her dressed and not know where I am going and then watch her fall 8000 times and try to keep Cal occupied for the hour that we are there and...see? I really am crazy because all of that plays in my mind! Anyway...

Look! Do you see it? Little baby grasses!!! Isn't it exciting??? By golly we just cannot get grass to grow. But look, here it is starting! You would probably come here and say "really dude? There's hardly any grass..." but don't rain on parade! Grass is grass. Hopefully this will just keep growing as we've had four failed attempts this year alone!

And in other exciting news Nick fixed my duck! My mom got this for me as a joke because I like those lawn geese which, yes, I know are stupid but I think they are fun! So this one sits on my counter but its legs had fallen off...oh poor little duck. Now its back in action. Its dressed in pink to match my kitchen of course!

Well we've had this jungle gym thing since Emma turned one. The kids had grown tired of it but as you can see we've rekindled our interest in it. I think now we are playing lets see who can climb over the fence with it, which would mean that it would have to go away but for now they are playing nicely with it.

Here we are going on a walk. Oh look we are walking by the Mayor's house...who by the way LOVES pie. You know, your husband works closely with the man every single day, we live 3 houses down, and have numerous conversations. Sure they know Nick, everyone in this bloody town knows Nick, but not me. Nope, I'm the hispanic looking woman who no one knows...no one knows that is until you start baking pies. Yeah, NOW you know me :). They are cute and fun though so its okay. Anywho (that was a tangent, right?) I love when Nick is home to go to the park with us...it just makes my little heart hiccup with joy.

And see what we saw? Fall is coming to us! So excited about this. I don't have a picture but funny story. While at the park we saw a one legged goose which was just so sad. Anyway sad until it kept dive bomb flying at us. So Nick called Animal Control because the blasted thing was at the playground which is so not cool. Nick failed to tell them that the goose was FLYING at us so I chided him saying, "you know that probably just dispatched out as 'Don some guys scared of a one legged goose walking towards him.' " Right? I mean we sound insane. But they did come out...

We've been sick. Yuck. I think we are finally on the mend, thank the Lord. As I mentioned yesterday the doctor thinks Cal has asthma. And yesterday I think he may have had a bit of an asthma attack! Yikes! Its hard to tell with the cold what is cold related and what is asthma but blue-ish lips, sounds like he's grunting when he's breathing. Short little breaths, yep, I think it was an attack. Anyway me being the stellar parent I was I left and Nick gave him the breathing treatment thing. Nick said he did better with the treatment so he must need it. The doctor said they really only know if its asthma if it responds to the medication. And why did I leave you may ask??? I try not to be a bad parent but I am writing an article on a movie premier that was last night. Didn't want to go but had to. It was a childrens movie so I dragged Emma along too. Her hacking cough got us lots of glowers from people...glare on people, glare on.

So that's our update in a nutshell. After the hockey practice there is a plethora of things to do including the Ladies Auxilary thrift sale, a neighboring historic districts annual garage sale (love!), and a fall festival. I guess we will see how the kiddos are doing. I am kind of itching to craft SOMETHING during naptime so we will see what the day holds for us. Tonight I am helping a friend register for her baby and then we are meeting up with the husbands for dinner. Yippee!!!!! Have a great day!

Doctor Update

We are all a little under the weather so I haven't had time to do a lot of posting today but thought I would hop on and give ya'll an update on the doctor's visit yesterday. The doctor has set us up to meet with an allergist. He suspects that there's an allergy since his eczema he's had since birth hasn't cleared up and the behaviour change/explosion. He also said that it sounds like Cal has Asthma so we are now going to have to give him breathing treatments (in our spare time, ha!) and carry around an inhaler...doesn't that sound like fun???



FYI I had asthma so I know that that SUCKS. I am hoping it is also allergy related and once we get all of this under control then it will just magically go away.



How did he know he had asthma you may ask? Well I haven't told you all about it but he has been oddly coughing constantly about an hour before bed and then been really weezy. Yep, that's asthma the doctor said.



He is also recommending a Developmental Psychologist so I need to get that going. I was a tad dismayed but upon looking at it I don't really know what I was expecting out of the visit...I guess I thought he would walk right in and say "oh clearly he has..." but it wasn't like that.



Well gotta go...

There's at least one...

Well there's at least one person (aside from Nick...most of the time!) that doesn't think that I am totally insane. This morning during Speech Therapy Cal had one of his episodes where he broke down temper tantrum, throwing things, hitting me, kicking me.

When I explained that this is my life to our therapist said that if I want to he will definitely recommend a Developmental Psychologist to come out. He said this is normal for 2 year olds every once in a while...I told him that that was at least my third tantrum to deal with today...at 9 am.

He also does not like how he is hitting and being destructive to property, despite being told to stop. He just doesn't care. I sent him to his room and the therapist and I talked. It was so reassuring to have him say "you are an amazing mother, Nick is a great dad." People say that to you and I am sure that they mean it, but when you know the people saying it it feels about the equivelent of someone saying "hey, nice shirt!" you know? Coming from someone who doesn't know you, who has no emotional ties to you, it really made me feel validated. I AM a good Mom. This is not normal. Its OKAY I can't take this anymore...that's to be expected was what he said.

Becuase seriously who wants their hair pulled out, their skin scratched, kicked, hit, bit, ALL DAY LONG? Not I said the little mommy. Not I said the little Emma.

Please pray for us. We leave this afternoon to go to the Pediatrician's office to discuss what is going on with this crazy kid of ours...God love him :)

I'm hoping he has answers and doesn't pat me on the head and explain to me how I have a two year old little boy.

I'll let you know what I find out

The Birthday Girl!

Today is my Aunt Jan's Birthday! She is one of my bestest friends and I just love, love, love her! I know she reads this so I hope she has an amazing day (or HAD as this is 9 to the pm!) I love you Aunt Jan...you are amazing! Muah!

Her Most Wonderful Time of the Year

Emma absolutely LOVES winter! She is so excited that it is right around the corner. When I ask her what she loves, she instantaneoulsy gives me a lengthy list: gingerbread houses, decorating cookies, cutting down the tree, visiting the Christmas Fairy, playing in the snow, how cold it is, decorating the Christmas tree, being with family, hot chocolate, Christmas lights, and on, and on, and on...


All I can say is, wow the kid loves Christmas :)

Here's Emma making snow angels. This may sound like an exaggeration but she really does talk about making snow angels throughout the entire year!

Here's what Emma is excited about...Christmas morning! Isn't she cute opening Candy Land?

Yes I know I am a total nerd but the kids always have matching pjs...aren't they just adorable??? I'm trying to convince Nick that we should have matching pjs too but I still haven't won that arguement...maybe this year ??

Swagger Wagon

Swagger Wagon - More bloopers are a click away

Dude, have you seen this? L.O.V.E. this song! Can I tell you how much this song is about Nick and I? Its describing our life, I swear!!! Except for the fact that I do not drive a van and never will...thank you I will stick with the SUV. The guy even kind of looks like Nick, if you ask my opinion! You'll have to tell me what you think!

Well hello all! Happy Monday to you call! I hope everything is going well on your end! This morning we were up and ready for Preschool bright and squirrelly :) . Here are some pictures from the last few days:

I walked in on this this afternoon. I think he is reenacting the invasion or Normandy

Shhhh...Woody is sleeping. I had to show this to you. First of all this is my FAVE piece of Fall Decor. Its from my Aunt Jan and it always makes me smile.

Here's Em ready for preschool this morning.

Cal begged me to get this hat out despite it being too small. He put it on and said "look, me noman!" Yep, it does kind of look like Frosty's hat

Ah yes the joy of climbing walls when you are a child...how exhilarating

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Yesterday we started hockey. Here are some pictures of the big day:

Here's Emma "skating". This guy was with her the whole lesson. This was at the end of the lesson, as you can see they are buddies. He gave Emma three rides like this over the course of the lesson and she LOVED it.

Here she is on her own. These pictures are totally backwards from how they happened...sorry about that.

Here we are starting out. Nervous little girl on ice clinging to a chair.

Here we go...Do you like her trendy jersey-dress? She was one of the smallest ones there...so funny!

Here she is all suited up! It took Nick a few minutes to get her all geared up. Next week Nick can't be there and I am already TERRIFYIED of getting her ready! She's probably going to be out there with her elbow pads on like ear muffs or something. Anyway, LOOk how big her uniform and gear are on her! It looks like we photoshopped her head onto someone else's body!

Anyway, she fell A LOT. They all met in the middle of the rink to talk and her buddy/helper had to turn her around because she was facing the outside of the circle. But by the end of the lesson she had given up the chair and was walking on the ice! She is so cute! We figured she had hated it but she said that she had an amazing time and loved it. Whew, I am glad about that!

The Story

I was looking through the blog and realized that I promised ya'll the story of how Nick and I got together and never delivered. So sorry! It is super complicated so here you go...

I went to Ball State and my roomate was my dear friend Jessica. Jessica had been an assistant for the boys baseball team at her high school and continued to talk to one of the coaches, Kevin. Well Kevin mentioned to Jess that he had worked with this guy named Nick who, he thought, was going to Ball State too. He said Jess should look him up. Well Nick started to IM (do you remember IMing people???) Jess on the computer and it kind of became a girl's dorm floor thing. We ALL talked to Nick. If Jess ran somewhere I was talking to Nick (heehee) or one of the other girls were. Well Jess agreed to a blind date with Nick and I completely 100% talked her out of it. I mean we had just gotten down to college, had no idea where anything was, and she had NEVER met him face to face. He could murder you and you'd never see it coming, I reasoned. So she stood him up...for the first time.

Well Nick being the forgiving (and relentless apparently!) guy that he was, forgave Jess and suggested that they try again and this time I could come too. Oh great, now we're both going to get killed! Well we met in an outdoor common area, Nick was supposed to be wearing a green shirt, and for some reason EVERYONE practically was wearing a green shirt. Well we waited, didn't see anyone (or anyone we'd want to be ALONE with, sorry Nick!) so we left. Nick to this day says he never saw us, but I promise, we were there...even if it was for just a moment.

Well we came home for Christmas without ever seeing him. This all had basically gone on for the entire first semester. Nick and Jess' mutual friend invited us over for a party...Jess' friend Kevin (mutual friend) was interested in ME so I was being brought along evidently. Well when we got there there was a car with plates from Nick's county and we had this sinking feeling going in to the house that he was there. Oh great, the guy we stood up twice, how fun (awkward!) this will be.

So we were there, Jess was meeting another guy, and Nick was there with two friends. I remember we were watchin Taxicab Confessional and Nick sat by Jess. I was next to Kevin and he kept getting closer and closer to me. I was in the middle of Kevin and one of Nick's friends. I remember Nick's poor friend Aaron kept scootching for me as I kept getting farther and farther away, until he finally said "I'm sorry, I'm out of room!"...even he knew I was trying to get away from Kevin!

Well having found out Nick wasn't totally creepy, Jess invited him to our room to watch TV when we got back to Ball State. Nick was there when I got home from work one night and we started talking. I think we've pretty much talked ever since. He reports that he just hit it off with me more than with Jess...and I had big boobs. Nice Wit.

Don't worry I wasn't a lousy friend, Jess wasn't really into him and could see the look in my eye the night Nick left our room. She pushed us together after that.

So that's how we met and got together. Sometime I'll tell you about our first datings. It includes Jalapeno Chips, Nick rapping, and me getting my foot ran over by a car. Oh the joys of young love! :)

Saturday

Well Happy Saturday, Football Day, 9/11. I tell ya it is hard to explain 9/11 to a 4 year old. We will always remember.

This morning we started our day READY!

As you can see I had a stack of 9 pairs of underoos ready and waiting...bring it on potty training. We soiled 3 pairs so still having 6 pairs left I am happy to say this is the first evening I haven't had to do a load of laundry to get all of the underpants cleaned.

By the way it secretly tickles my soul to be folding little guy underpants...snowboarders, Toy Story, Spider Man, Sports themed, stripes...they all are just so cute!

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We stamped today and had lots of fun! (and inked up fingers!) I love that they are starting to do crafty things together

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So I mentioned that we went Treasure Hunting the other day. Well here's what I got in the clothing department...forgive me for gushing (teehee) this is the stuff I love!. Here we go:

Two holiday dresses...the first on is a Charter Club and it has the cutest embroidery of Mistletoe and the other is a Santa dress because I always have Em in one every year


We got these two dresses...the red one is a Ralph Lauren and the other is a two piece Gymboree outfit...its brown corduroy :)

Here's a close-up of the shirt in the outfit above. I love it because I can put it under tons of cardigans that Em already has

Here are 6 other pieces I got for Em (can you tell that I got her more things?) Anyway, in clockwise order starting in top left corner we have a Gymboree sweater, lands end tee shirt, Gymboree shirt, Ralph Lauren pants, Gymboree shirt, and an unknown brand shirt but that is super cute and has a bow on the collar...

Ooh, look the 2 things I got for Cal...I know, I am lame...Gap shorts and a Ralph Lauren turtleneck...Nick refuses to wear turtlenecks for me so I have to get my fix of guys in them with Cal.

So guess how much I spent? Huh? Huh? Drum roll please....

$12.50! I was so stinking excited!

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This evening I felt like a truck pooped on me so I turned on Toy Story and we had "cacorn!" as Cal demanded...here's what they look like watching television:

Apparently underpants are all you need for bottoms...he pretty much refuses to wear pants around the house now that he's got his "pidermens!" on

And this is how Em watches

This is fascinating and horrifying to me all at the same time...she is getting so grown up. She's starting to look like a little lady with her Angelina lips and her curly hair all around her. She is going to be a knockout :)

Shopping!

Today we went Garage Sale-ing (or Treasure hunting as Emma and I call it!) and got all kinds of goodies. I will post the clothing I got tomorrow as I forgot to take a picture before and right now they are in the washing machine.

This is a playset that we were going to get Cal this past Christmas but I think it was about $60.00 and we weren't sure if he would like it or not so we passed. Turns out he LOVES Imaginext and we scored this at the sales for $2.00! Emma even likes playing with it!

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Looking around I am seeing things that need to get done tonight...the fridge often just kind of blends in with the every day but when my eyes focus in on things, this is what I see....I LOVE seeing this picture of Nick and I from shortly after our engagement and the pic below it of us as a family. Ah, makes my heart swell :o)

Um, yeah this is the big picture of the fridge...probably should clean it off

I love these pictures! I've had them since we got married. I have other things to put in their place but I just can't give up the cute candies and sweets.

My door looks like it has Chicken Pox with Calamine all over! Actually I have filled the pock marks in my farm door. Which yes I know I don't live on a farm, but if I DID have a farm this is the door I imagine I would have. Anywho, it is getting painted the lovely Clam Island color that all of the other trim and doors in my home are.

In other things, Cal walks past the front hall closet and deposits his things in the living room when done with them...just.like.his.dad. I love this hat that Nick got for him last year. He scooped it up, the LAST ONE at Baby Gap because it looks like Charlie Brown's hat. Tons of people call Cal Chuck because he looks a lot like Charlie Brown :)

The foyer table is barely visable underneath my pile of things to do's...including painting my nails, hiding this flashlight from the children, putting out fall things, and figuring out where this tortoise shell button thing came from

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Yesterday was a doozie of a day with Cal. We had speech therapy in the morning and before the therapist had even come (at 9:30 in the morning!) cal had been sent to his room twice, spanked once, and had to stand in the corner for various reasons including throwing things at the Breakfast table at his sister, hitting Emma, refusing to wash his hands, biting me, and tons of other things.

Anyway, after the therapist meeting I called Nick to tell him what the therapist said. More on that later. But when I got off the phone (MAYBE 5 minutes if that) I came in to the living room and found that Cal had taken a 16 oz cup of milk and had spit it either on Emma or the couch. I sent him to his room and ended up calling my Mother in Law, the angel in disguise, in tears, practically begging her to take him for the day. Two towels into cleaning the couch, I was still pressing on the couch cushion, and having milk bubble up from the cushion. I just don't know what to do with him anymore.

So Emma and I had our own day and I think it did Cal some good to be away from me for a little while.

Emma and I after lunch before heading out...we went and fed ducks, ran some errands, and did some girl shopping :)

I heart her outfit and her silliness

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So here's what the Speech Therapist said: I discussed all of my concerns with him and he said "Lindsay, what you're describing to me sounds like Autism but I don't see Autism". And to be honest I don't see Autism either. But when I read about what all of these things added up are, it really does sound like it. So I pray. And whatever it is, I don't care. He's my little boy. He's wonderful in his own way.

He suggested we start at our doctor and said if we need to go further he suggested we see Dr. Solomon in Ann Arbor as I guess he is world-renowned for his work in Autism and behaviour problems.

I have an appointment with our doctor next week. I am planning on asking for allergy testing and anything else he needs. Mike, our speech therapist, said this can get pretty indepth including hormone testing, chromosome testing, on and on.

I don't know that something is wrong and there may not be. But as a mother I need to rule out that there isn't. So I am reading right now on how to parent a "spirited" child and how to discipline with some out-of-the-box ideas.

So that is all I know now...hope you are ready for the weekend! :)

Hockey Time!

Last night Emma and Nick went to get Emma's hockey gear. She was so, so excited! Her skates also came in the mail yesterday and Praise the Lord they fit! Her skates were such a blessing that they were on sale from an online hockey shop for only $22! They normally START at $60, which I would be more than willing to pay if she wasn't going to use them for maybe 4 months. We were having a hard time even finding skates in her size so this was wonderful to find them so cheap! Plus they are called "training skates" ??? which means they only have one buckle to get those suckers on and off for potty breaks. These people KNOW kids!

Here's Cal in Emma's gear...so cute! He wants to be just like his big sis. He keeps walking around saying "me hockey". Next year buddy, sorry!

Ah, the tricky part of all of this...mom putting on the equipment. Nick finally had to just come do it because I had no idea what anything was.

Tell me this isn't the CUTEST picture you've ever seen??? I'm planning on all of this equipment to be put to good use for when she's falling all over the ice! Under the pants she has these huge sock thingy-s (technical term) and knee pads and shin guards. She also has all of these straps around her body you can't see and elbow pads. I've gotta tell you to, Nick's been telling her that her elbows are her most valuable weapon (oh joy!) so she keeps walking around the house yelling "elbow points!". We also had a talk the other day when she was saying that a boy in her class had better behave or she was going to throw him an elbow...oh great, you're THAT kid :)

This is our mean face...love it. As long as we are on the other side of this with no broken bones an all of our teeth I will be one happy camper. Here's another thing that surprised me...she's four and if you will notice she is wearing "youth large" equipment...who the heck wears the "youth small?" I mean the kid doesn't even weight 35 pounds yet!

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In other news...an update on Cal. Yesterday was a horrific day. One moment he'd come over and kiss me and the next moment he'd be trying to rip my face off. The very last thing he did before bed? He ripped my pearl earring out of my ear (ow, to the ow!), laughed and then chucked it as far as he could while Nick's saying "no Cal, give it to me, no Cal give it to me." Errr.

Anyway, I FINALLY got in touch with Cal's equivelent of a case worker and she is getting us a Developmental Psychologist...she said that this sounds like something that First Steps doesn't cover and could be a physical problem. She said we may want to also find a Developmental Pediatrician (which I had never heard of...ever) to look at his behaviors and have him tested for any syndromes. Oh. freaking. great. The Developmental Psyschologist and Pediatricians are all out of Riley Children's hospital. Right now they will be travelling to us visit with Cal. Hopefully if this gets indepth (read more expensive) we'll still be able to stay in the area and not schlupp him to Indianapolis every other day for testing and therapy.

I am REALLY hoping it isn't PDD-NOS. Ever heard of this? It is what they classify kids as who are Autistic but not Autistic ENOUGH. So he has apraxia, sensory issues, prone to seizures, behavior issues, yep all classic autistic syndromes, but he's not banging his head, doing OCD things (well he is but not ALL of the time), and he makes eye contact, so he's not CLASSIC autistic. It also sounds like there's not a lot they can do for these kids who have autism but don't have autism. It sounds like people are basically saying "well they have all of these things which make your life a living hell, but be glad he's functioning and not autistic"...well duh.

So we'll see. I'm hoping he's just going through something.??? Which possibly is denial speaking at this point again but its all I have.

On a side note, not many people know this unless they read the ol' blog. I quite frankly am fed up with people telling me "well he's just a boy!" or "typical 2 year old!" yes I KNOW he's a two-year old boy....thank you Captain Obvious. I just can't talk to people about this face to face because I am just tired of hearing it. So if you know me and want to ask me about things, please don't say these things to me. I constantly question if what he is doing is a) because he's a boy or b) because he's 2. And one trying to tell me its normal makes me think that a) they have no idea what they are talking about because you haven't SEEN the things I am talking about and b) that I must be a complete failure as a mother and a person to not even be able to control my own child.

Update complete...happy Wednesday!

Pray. Pray. Pray

There has been something underlying with Cal lately and I just can't put my finger on it. I've been somewhat in denial I guess. It's just him. He's teething??? He acts like his dad (ha!). I just can't put my finger on what it is EXACTLY. I finally voiced my concern to Nick a couple of weeks ago and he said the same thing "I can't describe what I think is wrong, but I know what you are talking about."

Yes I know I sound insane right now, and no I don't think I am making things up. Please, Please, Please just pray for our little guy. He's so stinking special. He's compassionate, he's funny, he's sensitive, he's loving, he'll talk to you. So I KNOW it isn't autism. I've read every thing I can, had him tested MULTIPLE times, and all signs come back that he is NOT autistic.

However we are having things, weird things, coming out. Here are some of them:

Not listening/obeying. Yes I know, he's not a boy and yes I know, he's 2. You just have to believe me with this, its not normal not listening. For one there's the safety aspect. We can be walking down the street, get to a corner and I'll tell him to stop. He doesn't stop. There's a car coming so I scream, STOP! He doesn't stop. He'd just meander himself into the front of a car if I wasn't there stopping him...there is no sense of surroundings.

Another example I can think of is today we finger painted and I told him three times to go into the bathroom and wash his hands. He went in three times and came out having never washed his hands.

He has no sense of being wet. He can't feel if he has a runny nose. He doesn't know if his hands are sticky.

He doesn't understand consequences...at all.

I'm pretty sure his senses are deadened compared to others. I took his arm and touched him with just my fingertip on his forearm. I asked him to do the same to me and he gouged at my skin.

He flaps his arms when he runs.

If anyone's kid is like this PLEASE let me know. I've looked up sensory issues and have some info to go on. I have no idea what to even look up to try to figure out this other stuff.

So that's the deal with Cal...the good news is his speech is coming along. There was something amazing to me and sad to me all at the same time the other night: he wanted me to leave his small lamp on when he went to bed, so I did. When I turned around he had sat up and said "light on me scared night monsters." I sat next to him and we talked how there are no monsters and about God and He'll help you not to be afraid and he can pray to which he said "God help scared". That was the first time I had EVER heard him pray which was amazing to me. I also loved that he talked to me about being scared but as I later realized that is the first time that he's EVER said anything to me without me having to ask him. You should hear me I am a freaking 20-question genius when that kid wakes up in the middle of the night.

Hungry?

Thirsty?

Scared?

Monsters?

Noise?

Cold?

Hot?

Sad?

Bad Dream?

Sick?

Black Baby? (a funny story in itself!)

Blue Baby?

'Cago bankie?

Buzz?

This is the first time he's ever told me anything about his feelings, his emotions...its like I live with him and know nothing about him at all. That's a hard pill to swallow as a mom and I hope that things will get better not worse down the road here.

Cloth Diaper Trail

This morning I stood bleary eyed over the dining room table folding laundry. It was about 4:30 in the morning. I've been trying to get up early every morning to get tons done around the house before the children wake up. I think my body detests me for this, but, oh well body :).

Anywho, folding laundry I stood there folding cloth diapers and them tossed them into Cal's laundry basket. I had to stop myself and pull them out. They don't go in there...not anymore at least. I found myself smiling as I thought of the journey these little boogers have been through. They started as Emma's diapers. I had no clue what to do with cloth diapers. Nick's mom lovingly and patiently researched what we needed and made suggestions along the way. Turns out cloth diapers have gotten way easy.

When Em was done with them we moved to Cal, and by then I felt like a cloth diaper champ. With two kids though I felt that cloth diapers were too daunting so they didn't get used for as long as they did with Em.

Now they are beloved dusting cloths. I use them all of the time, all around the house.

They have taken me through such a journey of growth through motherhood. And looking back, as hindsight really is 20/20, I wish I had used cloth longer with Cal. With Emma we never had diaper rash with the cloth and with Cal in disposables, I've been having to douse diaper rashes like forest fires in California. Ugh-o.

Also they say that kids who are in cloth diapers are potty trained faster and I have to say that from my experience this is definitely true. Cal is NEVER going to be potty trained. I am just getting so frustrated. He is showing signs that he knows what he is doing but that master manipulator of his mother that he is, I think he is back to playing dumb in hopes that I'll give up. Oh the tangled webs we weave my little munchkin...I've so got this kid figured out.

Anyway, dumb-o story I know. But the cloth diapers are safe where they belong.